I had a lady ask if we had hot dogs.
Me: Hi, this is Starbucks [our location], how may I help you?
Idiot: Hi, is this Starbucks?
NO, THIS IS PATRICK
customer: Carmel mash-E-ah-ti.
me: Wtf did you just call me?
DT Customer: What kind of soft drinks do you have??
Me: I'm sorry ma'am we don't carry soda..
DT Customer: OH! Thats fine, I don't need ice, just give me a coke zero.
Me: Ma'am we don't carry any soft drinks..
DT Customer: Not even bottles???
Me: No.. -.-
DT Customer: *drives off
"can i have a skinny vanilla latte with whipped cream" - literally defeats the purpose.
after you've already made a drink and handed it out: "ooh... i wanted this iced."
this woman came in over the weekend and asked for an iced chai with no milk. she literally wanted the chai concentrate, over ice. I tried to explain to her that it's concentrate and it really needs another liquid to make it taste normal, but she said she knew that and ordered it anyway and, of course, didn't like it.
"Can I drink this in here or do I have to go outside?"
"You can drink it anywhere you want, anytime you want, for however long you want. I don't care."
"....is that a yes? I have to drink it in the store, or do I need to go outside?"
We have this customer who is consistently asking stupid questions, but this situation is the best one of all.
Customer: "Can I get a Zen tea bag and then can you fill up my cup (actually a glass juice jar) with hot water?"
Me: "Okay, that will be $1.90 please."
Customer: "$1.90 for one tea bag?!?!?!"
Me: "Well, you're ordering a tea bag and having me fill your glass jar with HOT water, so technically that's more than just a tea bag."
Customer: "Oh, so you charge for water now? That's ridiculous."
Me: Proceeded to tell him why he simply wasn't just buying a tea bag...
Customer: "Well is there somewhere else I can get some water then?"
Me: "The restroom..."
Customer: "Okay, I'll just fill it up in there then." He then proceeds to go fill up his glass juice jar with nasty water from the bathroom.
Me: "Okay, the tea bag will be 54 cents."
Customer: Fumbles around with his change comes up with 50 cents and clearly has another dime in has hand. "Okay, I have 50 cents can I just take the rest out of your tip jar?"
Me: "But I can see you have a dime right there...that's enough to cover it."
Customer: "Yeah...but I don't want to BREAK me dime."
Me: "But you have a dime, so no you may not take the money we've earned from our tip jar."
Customer: "But I don't want to BREAK MY DIME!!!"
Me: "You cannot take money from the tip jar."
Customer: "FINE." He rolls his eyes, pays, and sits down.
I then proceed to the back room where I can let out the laughter I was holding in for nearly ten minutes. Ay yi yi.
disgustomer- picks up iced grande mocha and proceeds to ask if this was anyone's drink?
Me: No I made it because no one ordered it.
Long time reader been w/ sbux for 3 years now, ive reached my boiling point
^ Oh god. Every time someone does this or tries to order at the bar, I honestly want to ask them what they think is happening. Do they think I'm reading minds? Maybe, unless someone makes a specific request, I'm just making random drinks and people are picking up whichever one I make that sounds the best at the time?
lol @ the dime. I had a guy like this who had a quarter he didn't want to part with.
First he threw all the change he had on the counter and was like, "Oh, this is close enough right?"
I stared and waited for him to count it out. He had enough, but wanted to get rid of all of the smallest change, and took back a quarter. He was short a few cents without the quarter, and kept insisting I should take the Canadian penny he had in the pile (I wouldn't) but he'd have still been two cents short. I wouldn't budge. And I would NOT let him take it from our tips. He got all weird and fussed and moaned... but he had that quarter.
Finally a woman (in military uniform) behind him insisted on paying the three cents he owed (except that he said it was "just two cents!" still insisting that I'd take the Canadian penny lol--I didn't.)
Customer: Where's my tall cappuccino? This doesn't taste like my tall cappuccino! *is holding a tall skim chai for ---*
Me: Sir, is your name ---?
Customer: No, its ---
Me: Okay, so you took ---'s drink which is totally different from yours. Wait till they call your name.
"anything to eat with that today, maybe a slice of lemon poppyseed loaf?"
"Is it good?"
are you kidding me. when someone asks me if a food item is good, i tell them
"Yes. Everything is good."
another time, this lady was buying a panini. i told her our oven was off BEFORE she bought it. she buys it anyway, then asks if we have a microwave in the back. i say yes, but it's not for customer use (should've just said we didn't). she asks me why not. i go get my ss because i know this woman is not going to an accept an answer from me, & she tells her the same thing.
she cannot for the life of her understand why we can't heat it up in the back microwave.
like holy crap! i don't think this snob has worked a minute at any restaurant or cafe or what have you, because she would know. exactly why. we cannot use our not-regularly cleaned microwave (i don't know if anyone cleans it, i never use it).
she was in the middle of unwrapping it too!! like why!! anyway, a ham & swiss panini won't kill you if it's cold.
we ended up refunding it.
"Which drink has a shot in it? Like, a shot of espresso?"
"What's the best drink?"
"How many calories are in a grande two pump skinny hazelnut latte?"
"Can i get a frapuccino with no ice?"
"Do you guys have anything without sugar? Well, we have all our sugar-free syrups..." "Yeah but those probably all are gross." ?!?!?
"What does the vanilla syrup taste like?"
about the SCM "SALTY?!?!"
or: when people asked for things that we haven't had for MONTHS.
lemon raspberry loaf? really? where have you been the past six months?
or one of my favourites:
"WHY IS YOUR SMALL CALLED TALL?? LOLOL"
oh, aren't you clever!
the reasoning one of my SS gives is "because nobody likes to be called small!"
me, i say "because it just is." with a big smile.
but when people ask for our ENTIRE selection of teas/food? yeah, no. i repeat it all really fast. if you didn't catch that, too bad.
One lady asked me if I could give her a hot cup of ice O_O
just gonna keep posting these as i remember them.
this one time, a customer asked:
"Why do I have to pay this much? I usually only get charged ____$!"
we explained that if he wanted vanilla syrup in his latte, it was 60 cents. he gets all, "WELL I'VE NEVER HAD TO PAY THAT BEFORE!"
well you should have been. i think we all know the name for taking something without paying for it. we told him you only get syrup for free with a registered starbucks card. so we took the vanilla off for that one time, but if he tries to pull it again? no.
"WHERE'S MY DRINK? I'VE BEEN WAITING."
it was the rudest thing i've ever heard. you see this huge line of drinks? we are a drive thru store. we have orders other than yours that were here before you. you don't get top priority, princess, especially not when you're chatting on the phone while you order & making no attempt to acknowledge the person in front of you, or even apologize for being completely rude.
by far the worst thing ive ever be told not asked coming from a dumb **** i need a mocha frappacino extra hot figure it out bro damn not that hard
*hands off a mocha light Frappuccino*
"This isn't mine, I ordered a mocha light Frappuccino."
"Yes, that's what that is."
"Oh, it's cold?"
When minutes earlier I heard my partner explaining exactly what a Frappuccino is. *headdesk*
The other day a lady looked at the menu and asked me "Does the tall caramel frappuccino say $13.75 or $3.75?"
This was in drive thru but i got asked if we sold Sprite. As soon as i heard this, i just wanted to walk off the edge of a cliff. Then ive been asked for ketchup & mayo for their wonderful breakfast sandwiches. My only thought is "Are we a full service restaurant or a McDonalds? No obviously not sherlock."
Someone asked if we had splendid...and if I could put a few in their latte....with a straight I obliged...but deep down I wanted to ask if they'd like a pump of awesome, and maybe some fantastic sprinkles on top.
@dopieopie Hilarious. Ive often heard Splendor. Another is BlackForest frappes. For them it was a Caramel Frappe.
Mmmmm... black forest mochas.
If only Starbucks had cherry syrup.
This once actually happened to me. My shift supervisor at the time had to take his 10 because he was laughing so hard. For best effect, read the customer's comments as though she were high as a kite, and read mine in an increasingly short manner.
Customer: So I've never been to Starbucks before. Do you sell coffee?
Me: Yes! We have three different kinds of coffees on brew. Do you prefer darker or lighter coffees?
Customer: What's the difference between a coffee and a latte?
Me: A latte is espresso, steamed milk, and a small layer of foam. Coffee is... well... coffee.
Customer: So... what's the difference between a latte and a cappuccino?
Me: Cappuccinos have more foam.
Customer: Can you make a latte... but with coffee instead?
Me: Yeah. That would be a caffe misto.
Customer: Could I get that iced?
Me: No, a caffe misto by definition is coffee and steamed milk.
Customer: I just want a vanilla latte.
My shift makes the drink and serves it to her. She drinks it, then comes back to the register.
Customer: Are you guys hiring?
Shift: After your first time at starbucks, we send an application in the mail. It should be there in two weeks. Just fill it out and mail it back. We'll be in touch.
"Can have that oatmeal to go?"
Will I like that?
I don't know....will you?
*about to hand off grande black iced coffee*
customer: grande...unsweetened...green iced tea?
me: no...no, that's not what this is.
i mean really? do you think your green tea is supposed to look like that? lololol.
What is your soup of the day?
Do you sell quiche?
Customer: Can i have a large water?
me: here you go ma'am (hands out venti iced water)
Customer: umm i think i wanted it hot
Like what do you mean you THINK you wanted it hot, either you did or you didnt.
Me: "What size?"
Customer: "Um, the large size... that's the small one, right?"
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