Every single freakin' time. This also applies to my last job at a tea shop...
*customer orders drink*
Me: Did you want that hot or iced?
Customer: What's the difference?
Me: One is hot and one is cold.
Customer: Oh...well which one is better?
Me: They're both good so it really depends on if you want a hot or iced beverage.
Customer: Oh...I uh...oh man...oh my god, now I don't know.
IS THIS REALLY THE MOST DIFFICULT DECISION YOU'VE EVER HAD TO MAKE?
customer: hi do you have hot sauce or ketchup?
me: uh no
customer:you dont have ketchup?
me: no....
customer: oh okay, and no hot sauce?
*facepalm*
oh cuz you know people like that **** in their lattes...
"Do you have Tazo?"
This **** regular we have came up to me today while I was barring & said I should go personally check on the men's room. He clogged it up and wouldnt just say that. Oh, apparently you're full of sith? That's big news, let me just ignore these 100 drinks in line and clean up after you, grenade turd launcher.
Recently.
"Is there any coffee in a strawberries n creme frappucino?"
AND this one drove me to just ask to bar for the rest of the day.
"Hi there, is there any coffee in a decaf americano?" I want to kill people.
I work at a store in good ole' TN, and I swear to god, we have the dumbest customers. Every day, without fail, customers will ask,"Do you guys have any jelly?" upon ordering a classic sausage sandwich. But the questions that **** me off the most are,"How many shots come in a frap?" and "What's the difference between a cuuramel macchiato and a curramel frappe?". Are you retarded? It's not like we don't have pictures of the two completely different drinks posted in several places in the store, INCLUDING RIGHT NEXT TO THE FREAKING NAME ON THE MENU BOARD.
Teenage girls walk up to the handoff plate to pick up their drinks after I've called them, a caffe vanilla and a caramel macchiato. With their names on the cups.
"Hey, which one is which?"
"The caramel macchiato is the hot one and the caffe vanilla is the cold one."
"...So, which one is mine?"
*facepalm*
"You're closed now? Does that mean we have to leave?"
"You're closed? Well, can I get a caramel macchiato? No, because you're closed? Oh, okay, I'll have a small coffee instead."
I work in a drive-thru, some **** who got decaf asked me if she had to pay for the 'ask me' that was on her stupid drink.. i'm like no thats for us only when we don't feel like putting your stupid order into the machine..
dumb ****, hope she got diabetes from the x-cr
Marble: "Venti no whip mocha!"
Customer: "Oh, could you take the foam off? My wife hates foam."
Marble: "Sure!" -scoops off air bubbles, re-lids, & returns drink- "Here you go!"
Customer: "Oh but could you fill it to the top?"
Marble's thoughts: NO GTFO
Marble: "I'm sorry but all that's left in the pitcher I used is foam."
Customer: "Well, could you steam some more?"
If only he had asked for it double-cupped to complete the stupid waste trifecta of product, time and energy.
another thing that was very stupid was some girl asked me what a shaken ice tea was..
"what's a shaken ice tea.. i don't get it.."
"maam, its tea thats shaken and your choice of sweetener or not"
"But, I don't get the shaken part.. is that dairy or do you put milk or what?"
"No, that means that we shake the tea... in a shaker"
fucken. idiot.
@tophy or when they tell you they'd like a shaken tea, and when you ask which kind, they confidently exclaim, ""Iced!"
Customer: "The coffee cake. Does it have coffee in it? I can't have caffeine."
What.
THIS. This happens almost DAILY at my store. We're right next to a McDonald's and a supermarket.
Customer: "Do you guys have any Coke?"
Me: "We don't have any sodas, ma'am. The only things that we have that are close to sodas are near the pastry case, and pre-bottled. Izzy is a carbonated beverage."
Customer: "How about Sprite?"
Me: "Ma'am, we don't have any sodas. We deal with specialty drinks in the realms of tea, coffee, and milk base."
Customer: "Oh, so you mean I need to get like uh *I-TAL-EE-YAN* soda? I'll get one of those, with coke flavor."
Me: "WE ONLY SERVE COFFEE."
Customer: "Well, then I don't want anything." and walks out.
Facepalm.
i can handle people getting confused over how to order iced tea. that is, if they've never ordered it before. i have people asking for "iced shaken tazo tea" and then staring blankly at me when i ask what kind and size.
i know everyone complains about this too but why is it so difficult to tell me the size?! "I'll have a latte."
"sure! what size was that?"
"latte."
no.
i hate it when people talk to me like i don't understand my job either. i was working at a drive thru store this morning, and accidentally made the same drink twice. (the tag wasn't used for the first one) it was a berry refresher and when i handed it out to the guy waiting he just said "um, no." i said "oh sorry.." not really knowing what he was upset about with it and he said, "it's supposed to be a green tea frappucino.. It's a blended drink." it made me so angry for some reason. i work at starbucks do you think i am oblivious to what a frappucino is?
^i guess they aren't exactly questions but we can pretend they still count since customers are just dumb.
Not all of these are stupid questions, some of them are just stupid. And all of them happened to me today.
I cannot wait for my vacation. Granted I'm going to Seattle which is basically Starbucks Disneyland, but I won't be at my store for nine whole days, and it will therefore be heaven.
------------------
Girl: "Can I get like, a, like, half coffee but half peppermint mocha?"
Me: *confused look* "Um..."
Girl: *exasperated look at her friend* "Um, do you KNOW what a peppermint MOCHA is?"
Me: "Yeah. It has espresso in it, so--"
Girl: "Ohhhhhhhhh, it DOES?!? Ohhhh. Oh."
----------
A-Hole: "Hey, yeah, tall bold."
Me: "Okay, it's just finishing brewing, it'll be about thirty seconds."
A-Hole: "Yeah, okay." *pause as he digs for change, then:* "You know, yesterday when I came in, my coffee was warm. Not hot. Warm."
Me: "Oh, well, I'm sorry. I can guarantee you that this one will be hot, it's literally just fini--"
A-Hole: "Yeah, yeah. You know I really should get it for free. I mean. I know it wasn't your fault, I didn't see you yesterday, but I should, you know, that's, I mean, just how I feel." *another pause as I just stare at him* "Give me that cookie there. You can't screw up a cookie. Can you?"
------------
There's this girl we've had so much trouble with who will always, without fail, come back after getting her vanilla with whip latte to tell us there was something wrong with it and expect a new one for free. We've started putting extra vanilla in her drink the first time. But I digress.
She comes in the other day with two friends when I've pretty much just started my closing shift.
Me: "Hi, how are you?"
Her: "Is your treat receipt thing still on?"
Me: "Yes, until the 26th."
Her: "Yeah. I didn't get a treat receipt this morning."
Me: "Oh, well, I--"
Her: "It wasn't even OFFERED to me, and this is NOT the first time this has happened. You need to comp drinks for me because I SHOULD have gotten one and DIDN'T."
Me: *so not ready to deal with this* "Oh, I'm sorry but I don't have any recovery certificates right now, so--"
Her: "But I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN treat receipts, I come here every day, I should at least get something. I need three frappuccinos, I will pay for one. But I don't think I should have to even do that."
-----------------------
Woman On Phone: "My husband wants a coffee something, it's sweet, like sweet coffee."
Me: "Umm... Was it a hot coffee or blended?"
Woman: "Regular coffee!" *rolls her eyes* "Regular sweet coffee!" *then, to the person on the phone* "What? A what?" *to me* "He wants a Chillatte?"
Me: "I'm sorry, that's a Second Cup drink, we're Starbucks, the closest thing we have is a frappuccino."
Woman: "A WHAT? Flap...flappacheeno?" *to husband* "What the **** is a flappacheeno?"
Me: "FRAPPUCCINO. They are cold drinks blended with milk and ice."
Woman: "Yeah, whatever, gimme a flappa whatever. Regular."
Me: "So just a coffee frappuccino, then?"
Woman: "Sweet. Is it SWEET?"
Me: "Did you want a flavored syrup in it?"
Woman: *to husband* "This girl doesn't know what I want." *leaves*
--------------
Girl At Speaker Box: "Can I get like a cold, like coffee thing, like coffee, like an iced coffee? Can I get like an iced coffee, I guess, but made with like, chocolate milk?"
-----------------
"Can I get a grande shaken tazo iced tea..... 2 pumps classic, light water, light ice."
"What kind of tea?"
"Uhhhhhhhhh...."
Why does this happen? :|
@Unsweetened ALL THE TIME. For me, it's usually...
customer: "I'll have a Tazo full-leaf shaken iced tea." All confident and whatnot.
me: "What kind of tea would you like? We have green, pa-"
customer: *repeats what they just said*
me: "I understand that, but we have three different types of those."
customer: "I'll just have a regular."
me: "So.. a black tea? Would you like that sweetened? What size?"
customer: "I just want a regular tea."
me: "GRANDE BLACK TEA UNSWEETENED IT IS."
customer: *comes back after receiving their drink* "This isn't what I ordered."
I've come to hate the word 'regular'.
I just assume that when they say regular they mean grande. It's the size that automatically shows up when we punch in their drinks, so that's what they get.
LOL this one made my day.
I was dto'ing by myself, and this lady asks for pirate juice. Not even joking. Kinda wish someone else had a headset on. I was like. WHAT. ARE. YOU. ON. WOMAN. >.>
customer: hi can i have a regular coffee?
me: grande decaf
customer:can i have a coffee of the day
me: grande decaf
customer: ill have a cup of coffee
me: grande decaf
what?! your order was vague therefore i shall decaf you for annoying me.
Customer: Do you sell cigarettes?
Me: No
Customer: Why?
Me: Because we are a coffee shop
Customer: it's a real cash grab you know, its a long john over to the mall for my cigarettes!
i'll let the ceo know you j4cka$$
Customer: Can I get an Iced Venti CM in a grande cup?
Me: Sure! *rings up grande and add shot*
Customer: Can't I just get the free shot?
Me: Uhhh...no.
Customer: Okay *sadface*
after running out of frap chips today:
"Can I get a DCCF?"
"Sorry, we're out of chocolate chips. Is there another drink I can get for you?"
"Oh. How about a JCF?"
"-same blather-"
"Oh. How about a MCCF?"
MOTHERTRUCKER GOD DAMN
"Can you guys stay open another 15 minutes so I can finish up this stuff on my computer?"
"can i get a tall?"
or
"can i get a lemon thing?" LEMON POPPYSEED LOAF? LEMON RASPBERRY LOAF? LEMON CRANBERRY SCONE? LEMONADE? ELABORATE ****
"can i buy parking here?"
there's not even a parking lot on our building site. wtf.
"do you have salt and pepper?"
"do you have anything gluten-free? i have celiac."
no, you don't, you really don't. because if you did you would know that even the slightest bit of cross-contamination, like even something as minor as wheat flour dust particles in a factory setting landing on other products, can set off a celiac response, LET ALONE **** BEING PUT OUT IN A FRIDGE SURROUNDED BY GLUTEN FILLED BAKED GOODS SERVED USING THE SAME TONGS FOR EVERYTHING.
^
"Can I get a banana?"
Okay, one banana!
Oh... you meant a banana BREAD, not an actual banana... my psychic powers must not be working today. :|
Haha these are all great.
Today I had an encounter with some crazy lady and this is what happened;
Customer: Can I have a mocha cookie crumble frappe but hot?
Me: Actually a frappuchino is a blended iced drink, they're impossible to make hot; but I can make you a hot mocha and put whip and cookies on top if you'd like.
Customer: No I want a hot mocha cookie crumble frappe.
Me: We don't make frappe's we make frappuchinos and they are cold blended drinks. They are blended with ice.
Customer: Oh alright I'll have an oatmeal.
...what?
....WHAT?
a customer asked me today if we had sugar free classic. i died.
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