Not all of these are stupid questions, some of them are just stupid. And all of them happened to me today.
I cannot wait for my vacation. Granted I'm going to Seattle which is basically Starbucks Disneyland, but I won't be at my store for nine whole days, and it will therefore be heaven.
Girl: "Can I get like, a, like, half coffee but half peppermint mocha?"
Me: *confused look* "Um..."
Girl: *exasperated look at her friend* "Um, do you KNOW what a peppermint MOCHA is?"
Me: "Yeah. It has espresso in it, so--"
Girl: "Ohhhhhhhhh, it DOES?!? Ohhhh. Oh."
A-Hole: "Hey, yeah, tall bold."
Me: "Okay, it's just finishing brewing, it'll be about thirty seconds."
A-Hole: "Yeah, okay." *pause as he digs for change, then:* "You know, yesterday when I came in, my coffee was warm. Not hot. Warm."
Me: "Oh, well, I'm sorry. I can guarantee you that this one will be hot, it's literally just fini--"
A-Hole: "Yeah, yeah. You know I really should get it for free. I mean. I know it wasn't your fault, I didn't see you yesterday, but I should, you know, that's, I mean, just how I feel." *another pause as I just stare at him* "Give me that cookie there. You can't screw up a cookie. Can you?"
There's this girl we've had so much trouble with who will always, without fail, come back after getting her vanilla with whip latte to tell us there was something wrong with it and expect a new one for free. We've started putting extra vanilla in her drink the first time. But I digress.
She comes in the other day with two friends when I've pretty much just started my closing shift.
Me: "Hi, how are you?"
Her: "Is your treat receipt thing still on?"
Me: "Yes, until the 26th."
Her: "Yeah. I didn't get a treat receipt this morning."
Me: "Oh, well, I--"
Her: "It wasn't even OFFERED to me, and this is NOT the first time this has happened. You need to comp drinks for me because I SHOULD have gotten one and DIDN'T."
Me: *so not ready to deal with this* "Oh, I'm sorry but I don't have any recovery certificates right now, so--"
Her: "But I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN treat receipts, I come here every day, I should at least get something. I need three frappuccinos, I will pay for one. But I don't think I should have to even do that."
Woman On Phone: "My husband wants a coffee something, it's sweet, like sweet coffee."
Me: "Umm... Was it a hot coffee or blended?"
Woman: "Regular coffee!" *rolls her eyes* "Regular sweet coffee!" *then, to the person on the phone* "What? A what?" *to me* "He wants a Chillatte?"
Me: "I'm sorry, that's a Second Cup drink, we're Starbucks, the closest thing we have is a frappuccino."
Woman: "A WHAT? Flap...flappacheeno?" *to husband* "What the **** is a flappacheeno?"
Me: "FRAPPUCCINO. They are cold drinks blended with milk and ice."
Woman: "Yeah, whatever, gimme a flappa whatever. Regular."
Me: "So just a coffee frappuccino, then?"
Woman: "Sweet. Is it SWEET?"
Me: "Did you want a flavored syrup in it?"
Woman: *to husband* "This girl doesn't know what I want." *leaves*
Girl At Speaker Box: "Can I get like a cold, like coffee thing, like coffee, like an iced coffee? Can I get like an iced coffee, I guess, but made with like, chocolate milk?"