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Whom did you decaf today?

(1168 posts) (428 voices)
  • Started 2 years ago by Buxmeister
  • Latest reply from nowaterchai

Tags:

  • bad day
  • bad shifts
  • bogo
  • caffeine. decaf
  • caramelhell
  • Crazy lady
  • customer
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  • monster
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  • no foam
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  • stupid
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  • summer
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« Previous123…39Next »
  1. Mary Mocha

    Member

    Internets:1
     

    There's this old hag, who must be like 137 or sumthin, who comes through our DT EVERY FREAKIN DAY and asks us what our bold coffee is. No matter what, this bizznitch will order some other kinda brew in a pour over. SHE'S SO F'ING ANNOYING.

    It all started around Xmas of '09 cuz she just couldn't stomach the Xmas Blend that year, so our brilliant manager was all "Oh yeah, we'll brew you anything you want dear. Totally, for sure and all." Said brilliant manager was fired not even a month later, but we're still dealing with her "world class customer service."

    When our new manager arrived (who is AMAZEBALLS!!) she was all "Uh, no, that lady can have one of three options that we're already brewing." Of course the hag called up the brain-trust in Spaceneedleville and they were all "I'm so sorry miss. Of course they'll brew you your coffee choice every time you visit." Our DM even sent an email saying how we shouldn't alienate a customer and just say yes. ::eyerolly::

    Few weeks later, our new manager, god bless her soul, decided to rid from our lives the wretched ole DT trash can. HALLELUJAH! She just went out there and put that big ole box on the dolly and wheeled it down to the dumpster. Then, our favorite hag called up the brain-trust again and complained that our store was trying to get rid of her! LOL Ya ma'am, our lives are all about you. The DT trash can was the most horrible thing on earth....years of spilled milk, mocha and other **** from everyone's trashmobiles piled up in the bottom that smelled worse than New Orleans after Mardi Gras, and we have to change that shizz everyday! Thankfully, our new SM stood her ground on that one and the trashcan has not returned.

    Anyways, this lady is 100% decaffed for life and all our partners know and don't give two monkey shizzes. Our SM even knows, we just mark out a box of decaf VIA like once a week and give that to her everyday, no matter what blend she orders. Haggella never even notices.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  2. nyc12321

    Member

    Internets:646
     

    I don't get the point of ordering a specific coffee. If you have the money to do that on the daily, buy beans to take home and have there! It's the same **** thing, without the pompous white cup and getting to annoy the innocent baristas.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  3. GotDecaf

    Member

    Internets:148
     

    Our SM even knows, we just mark out a box of decaf VIA like once a week and give that to her everyday, no matter what blend she orders. Haggella never even notices.

    @ Mary Mocha: LOL That last bit warms my frozen heart.

    Posted 2 years ago #
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  4. decafgrande

    Member

    Internets:204
     

    Ok so I've been at Starbucks for about a year and a half, so I feel stupid asking this question but...

    Don't the regulars notice that it's decaf? Or if the shots are dead? I'm deathly afraid of being written up for giving out bad drinks.

    (which is hilarious, because my DM often comes in and praises my customer service, so whatevs)

    help?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  5. CocoRosie

    Member

    Internets:138
     

    It's easier to get away with burnt shots when they have so much sugar in that cup that they won't be able to taste anything else. I've sent out drinks that have had 30+ second shots in them and nary a complaint.

    I dgaf anymore about what coffee I give anyone. If it's hot and semi-fresh, that's what they're getting, be it decaf or what not.

    Posted 2 years ago #
    Admin
  6. 12345678

    Member

    Internets:883
     

    lol, no. I've been w/ starbucks for way to many years and have decaffed countless people during my tenure there. no one has ever said anything. they can't write you up for giving out bad drinks, the worst they could do would be to "coach" you about how to make drinks.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  7. decafgrande

    Member

    Internets:204
     

    Haha, awesome. So you wouldn't try it with a quad espresso then? There's this **** who comes in every day and asks for a "shot" of milk. Exactly one ounce. Today he got **** because someone else rang him up and hit the "add dairy" button instead of the way I do it (which, I learned today is wrong - tots fine, I just didn't know) so it was 60 cents more expensive. Then he was like, "That's not how SHE does it! You're just targeting me."

    Whatever, dude. He says creepy stuff like, "It'll just be our little secret," too, when I said I'd been doing it wrong. F'ing creeper.

    I hate this job. I want my graphic design job. :(

    Posted 2 years ago #
  8. 12345678

    Member

    Internets:883
     

    oh i would definitely do it w/ a quad, and let the shots sit. actually you were right with the way you charged him though, you shouldn't charge for any amount of milk added that is under 4oz. you could still decaf him though for being a **** about it.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  9. decafgrande

    Member

    Internets:204
     

    muwahahahaha

    tomorrow, my pretties. ;-)

    Posted 2 years ago #
  10. starbuckaroo

    Member

    Internets:65
     

    Let's call him and African-NonAmerican. Took all my fives with a C-Note. Spent three hours in the store with his giant loud **** misbehaved family. I suppose he uses Starbucks to launder his blood diamond money. See you in a few hours when you crash, splangee.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  11. starbuckaroo

    Member

    Internets:65
     

    Two ladies who adopted this country, from Mexico City, the wealthy part*. Two tall caps. They were at my store last week ignoring their three horrible obnoxious children spreading gravel on the deck that I'm trying to sweep.

    Same thing this week except inside the store and they were running around and screaming at and making a huge mess. I remembered them and I was on bar this time.

    Crash. Buy more coffee.

    You never tip or I'd feel a little bit of guilt.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  12. Buxmeister

    Moderator

    Internets:499
     

    I keep forgetting to decaf people. And it sucks, because I've dealt with some straight up sh-itheads this weekend.

    And on another note, what is up with people rolling their eyes and sucking their teeth at you when asking them to repeat their order? I'm just doing to make sure both parties are on the same page. All's well. They just shouldn't complain when the bar person mixes things up. I'm not the one who doesn't know how to properly order the drink I've been getting for 10 years. ****.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  13. OnlyKnowsDecaf

    Member

    Internets:74
     

    First, let me start off saying: If your drink doesn't have coffee in it, I WILL-repeat-WILL find a way to make sure it's a cup of sludge before you waddle your fat **** out of my store.

    Yesterday afternoon we ran out of Trenta cups amidst a frappuccino-and-iced-tea-filled hour. We apologized for the inconvenience and offered Ventis to the sensible customers and a Venti and a Tall for the persistent, pain-in-the-**** customers. Well...we have this one **** roll up in drive-thru and order a Trenta, unsweetened, Green Tea. We inform her on our shortage of cups to which she responds, '...Are you freaking kidding me? ...Are you freaking kidding me?' I'm already irritated at this point, but this **** just wants to see how far she can push me. (Pretty ballsy, considering I'm handling something you're about to ingest.) So, I offer the **** a Venti and a Tall. She has the balls to say, 'I don't THINK you understand...I need a lot of Green Tea. Like...a LOT of Green Tea!' ****, if you would ****' pay attention, you'd see I'm actually giving you MORE than a Trenta's worth for a Trenta's price!! And if you need SO MUCH Green Tea, go to WalMart and buy a friggin' jug of it for the same price! I tell her that's the best we can do and she pulls up to the window and continues to berate my coworker who's D.T.R. 'SO unbelievable. Seriously. This is unreal.' IS IT REALLY THAT BIG OF A **** DEAL, ****?!? Now, my blood's boiling simply because I can't stand giving free **** away to rude customers, let alone some **** who's going to continue to **** even after getting an extra 5-6 ounces for free! We make her the teas and surprisingly, they're made correctly. We hand them out and she's got the BALLS to look us straight in the eyes and say, 'Ugh. No. You know what? Can I like, get two Ventis or something? Because this is just a huge inconvenience for me.' I'm already at wit's end as she holds up the now-**** off line building behind her. Because my coworker at the window's a bit of a push-over, she remakes them for the ****. Incredibly, I STILL don't **** with her drink. Here's where I lose it: While my coworker's ringing her up, she leans out of her car and ACTUALLY SAYS THIS, '...Can I-...ugh...Can I like, have a dollar off or something? Because I like, come here ALL the time. I'm here all the time and I think it's an inconvenience that I have to carry around TWO cups now.' My coworkers looks at my and I vehemently shake my head. She looks at the monitor and says, '...Yyyeah. I'll just take off half of the price.' ...I snap. I walk over to the counter and **** up the teas. I slammed them down on the cold bar and pop off the lids. First, I dump out half the ice and replace it with fresh-brewed, still-warm tea. The ice is now virtually gone and the drinks are lukewarm. Time now for the heavy artillery. Peppermint. I blast both of those teas full of it. I was at the point of no return; actually hoping she DID return so I could deal with her. I felt triumphant. I returned with the teas, nose up in the air and paused...there was still a spark smoldering inside me. I whipped back around, popped off the lids again and both got one pump of Caramel. My coworkers stood by at watched, mouths agaped, yet still fixed into a devilish smile. I personally handed them out myself and thanked her. And you know what the best part was? The absolute best part? ...Is she when she tipped us. Normally, I feel bad when I'm snotty to customers and they end up tipping...but this arrogant, cheap, **** dug herself in a hole so deep, there was absolutely NO hope for her. I slammed the window in her face, turned around, and didn't look back. ...I worked 'til eleven that night...surprisingly, she didn't return. Thank God it's my weekend...felt great to get that out. Haha.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  14. CocoRosie

    Member

    Internets:138
     

    You, sir or madam, are my hero of the day.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  15. raspberrysyrup

    Member

    Internets:11
     

    Today I was on bar and got a cup that was marked as a latte but I couldn't read what was in the custom box. So I asked the girl on register, and she said, "two Splendas." (Which is gross, I might add.) So I make the stupid drink, call it out, and the woman says, "Um, this was supposed to be Sweet and Low, not Splenda." I said politely, "Oh I'm sorry, is Splenda okay or would you like me to remake it?" And she makes some remark about being in a hurry and they should hire more competent workers. She also "doesn't consume that ****" (Splenda, I'm assuming). Decaf dead shots for you!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  16. disaffected

    Member

    Internets:79
     

    The newest addition to my decaf club is a regular who resembles Mr. Clean wearing a do rag. He has picked on me from day one because I don't kiss his **** and pretend like I know his drink, which he makes variations to all the time, making it unpredictable. After blaming me for giving him cavities because of a wrong guess at his preferred syrups, I professed I was not in fact telepathic and he then made a sexist remark about my 90% female staff (ironically seeking concurrence from my g@y shift lead). As soon as I see his bald head in the parking lot, I pull two decaf shots. Nonfat. Sugarfree. It's my turn to make variations.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  17. SeƱor Cardgage

    Moderator

    Internets:1,047
     

    ... OnlyKnowsDecaf .. is the greatest being .. to ever .. omfg.

    The word 'godlike' does not even come close to the sheer, inexorable awesome.

    I will build a statue of granite in OnlyKnowsDecaf's image. I will consecrate it with the blood of fatties, and with a ritual not performed since the days of the forgotten Celts will it be made the holiest sight on the face of the planet.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  18. Justdarling

    Member

    Internets:3
     

    OnlyKnowsDecaf....wow. Just. Wow. I bow down to you :)

    I've only recently started to decaf. I've been with the company 3 years now, and I'm not sure how I've managed to go so long without doing it to keep my sanity. My reasoning was that yes, even though customers can be a pain in the ***, I still am there to do my job and provide a quality drink.

    ...of course now that I've come to the realization that working at Sbux is a total joke and that most of these people don't even know what decent coffee is...well, let the games begin.

    The other day it was this dude who came in and was like "God, why don't you guys offer for-here cups? I mean...God!" My coworker on register was like "Uh, well we -do- offer for-here cups. Would you like your drink for here?" And he just goes "No! I want my drink to go! I'm in a hurry! *pause* But really, you need to start offering your drinks for-here! You should make more of an effort to go green!" DECAF.
    Watching that amount of decaf beans dispense from the hopper filled me with the only satisfaction I've ever felt on the job.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  19. RegularSize

    Member

    Internets:22
     

    Anytime a customer begins a sentence with "You should...". Decaf. Or when you greet them or ask how they're doing, they blab their order. Decaf. When I offer you a decaf Americano for the same price as a decaf Pike because it's past noon and they demand you to brew decaf Pike for them or cut you off half way in your sentence and point to the pour over. I will give you a fake pour over with caffeinated Pike and have the satisfaction of watching your sip your dirt water.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  20. lightningscar

    Member

    Internets:411
     

    thank GOD my store doesn't do pour overs. we don't have any equipment for them... plus we are such a high volume store we brew bold, decaf, and pike all the way till close (we stop bold about an hour before)... I had some dude order a "FRESH" cup of decaf once... so I just poured him decaf out of the urn. he got all pissy and said "they do that for me at other stores!" **** you!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  21. Justordercoffee

    Member

    Internets:80
     

    I actually like doing pour-overs. What I hate are people who get snooty about it not tasting as good. It's superior, you **** retard! I get it, you think your coffee expertise is unmatched on this planet; you know to preach the vileness of Pike's (sic), complaining about how you only come in "once a week" since it has become our daily brew; you love Italian and French roast (our two most disgusting blends) because you enjoy a bold (anything milder is for pus$ies, you say). Get a clue...and a life.

    Anyway, having to do a pour-over now and again is vastly preferred, in my mind, to having to be on an 8 minute timer at any point during the day. 8 minute timer is the bane of my existence.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  22. decafgrande

    Member

    Internets:204
     

    I often say, out loud, that I want to shoot the timer in the face. <3

    Posted 1 year ago #
  23. starbuckaroo

    Member

    Internets:65
     

    Thanks for sharing OnlyKnowsDecaf. I'm still smiling. Good Ideas.

    Chai is so sticky on the outside of a cup. + nudge, nudge +

    Posted 1 year ago #
  24. starbuckaroo

    Member

    Internets:65
     

    Thanks for sharing OnlyKnowsDecaf. I'm still smiling. Good Ideas.

    Chai is so sticky on the outside of a cup. + nudge, nudge +

    Posted 1 year ago #
  25. XtraHot

    Member

    Internets:22
     

    when we had tribute blend our sm was pushing to have customers try it, so this guy comes in and i ask "hi sir, how is your day?" he responds, "grande pike..." so of course i offer "would you like to try our tribute blend? it is a bold, its a really great coffee." he responds, "oh no!!!! i do NOT need the extra caffeine." me:"well actually sir, a bolder coffee has less caffeine than pike, the longer it is in the roaster, the coffee losses some of its caffeine content." customer, "sure it does... pikes palace" oh it was pikes alright.....decaf pikes. and i neglected to correct the customer when he said pikes palace, so he can look like a retard next time.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  26. Buxmeister

    Moderator

    Internets:499
     

    LOL pikes palace

    Posted 1 year ago #
  27. nyc12321

    Member

    Internets:646
     

    I made a sign for "Pike's Palace" for the brewers. My coworkers <3'd it.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  28. Buxmeister

    Moderator

    Internets:499
     

    Did you do it just to hear and subsequently cackle at the people who order a pikes palace?

    Posted 1 year ago #
  29. Buxmeister

    Moderator

    Internets:499
     

    Rawr, double post

    Posted 1 year ago #
  30. lightningscar

    Member

    Internets:411
     

    I'm starting to REALLY hate this lady who asks for a tall in a grande pike... but with 3 splendas. each time she says that I want to tell her to waddle her fat **** over to the condiment bar and do it herself. plus she orders a venti cup of ice. I usually neglect to tell bar to grab her a cup of ice so she has to wait there longer and get **** off that no one got her ice.

    it's harder to give someone brewed decaf because of the tags on the coffee urns but if she orders that again, I'm going to try.

    Posted 1 year ago #

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