lightningscar, take the tags off the urns after about 5pm and just always have a batch of burned a** bong-water tasting decaf pike waiting for the unsuspecting sea-donkey. (lets all pretend like we don't just push down the little guard handle above the pour knob whenever the lights flashing so the urn lifts up a little bit and resets the heater....... i've made a half batch of decaf last 8 hours).
Whom did you decaf today?(1226 posts) (451 voices)
Buxmeister, yes. Yes I did. I'm still waiting for my SM to notice...it's the little things =P
fm latte, that sounds like a great idea for her, quite disgusting. I feel bad for your nice decaf customers though. how hard is it to rebrew?
There are nice decaf customers? THERE ARE NICE CUSTOMERS?!
^ what lobbyslide said.
Today, it was anyone who came in post 8pm. Sorry guise, you had your chance; someone with a complicated green tea frappuccino set me right the eff off.
There's this kunt who comes in every day, "grande nonfat 2 sweet and low latte"
One day she muttered how stupid I am to her passenger when my back was turned. I don't know if she intended for me to hear her, but I did. One day she called me stupid. Every day she gets decaf. The others know as well to give her decaf.
How many people can you decaf with a five gallon cambro because the **** who demanded us to have it ready for her in 5 minutes is running late! It's 830am here and people really need their caffeine. ;) I love mass decaf.
Oh balls, decaffing travelers and cambros is perhaps the most satisfying part of this job to ever exist.
My store gets a lot of samplethieves. Any samples I make are, in fact, decaf- enjoy throwing that in your tall-in-a-venti.
Who did you decaf today?
Because I wanted to sleep tonight.
FAIL. I still cannot sleep.
@ChickenOrFish FHHHUCKKK THAT **** decaf isn't even enough. i would decaf her and put equals in her latte or make it with heavy cream or with dead decaf shots. Efff those customers who think they are so much better then us.
This girl that works at McDonald's always comes into our store and goes on about how she can get the same thing from her work for free and that we should make time management a higher priority. Decaffed her a-ss without question.
Guy comes in today. "Um do you have any 3 packs of the via?"
Me: "yeah let me.."
Guy: "never mind if you can't just point to where they are it's gonna take too long, i'm in a rush just give me my latte"
Decaffed an older lady who insisted we should let her sample every single coffee until she finds the "perfect pairing" with her
banana chocolate chip coffee cake. Being aggressively demanding when asking for free samples wont get you anywhere with me, you effin' revolting dinosaur.
Grande 1% latte. And her son ordered a vbf with no whip. Partner helpfully suggested nonfat milk? "No, better make it 1%."
A f***ing 1% frappachino.
So a decaf 2% latte? That's what I heard. And that's what you drank. :)
so a lady walks up to the counter ...
me: Hi! How are you today?
her: I'd like a medium breve.
me: Sure! Would that be a breve latte?
me: You said you'd like a breve which tells me the half & half milk - is that for a latte?
her: I don't know. At MY Starbucks, I just order a Breve.
me: I'm just trying to determine what type of drink you'd like - a Latte, Cappuccino, Mocha ...
her: I DON'T KNOW! I order it, they make it - that's it!
me: -sigh- ok
I take the cup over to the bar and double tap it as I set it down (our non-verbal cue to decaf ... bwahahaha!)
bar partner: I have a grande breve LATTE!
her: is this my breve?
bar partner: that is a grande breve latte.
her: I ordered a breve.
bar partner: ma'am, breve describes the type of milk - it's not a drink. What did you order?
her: but at MY starbucks I just order a breve and they make it for me.
bar partner: Yes ma'am, they probably make you a breve L-A-T-T-E. If you order it that way, it will be less confusing for all of us and you won't have to explain yourself. Enjoy your latte!
I love the double tap!
Whenever somebody requests 1%, I just tell them that we mix 2% and nonfat and it usually turns them away, even though it is the same thing practically.
I hate 1% people. I don't just dislike their drinks, but I hate them as people.
Two upstanding gentlemen were decaffed today:
I was crossing the street to get to work. I had pressed the little button and the walking man appeared, so I began to go. Then this **** decides that he needs to turn right and that he can't wait two seconds for me to pass, so he zooms by, almost hitting me and violating the "no turn on red when pedestrians are present" sign (as if he noticed it). As he passed, I threw up my arms in a "WTF?" kind of way and he just shrugged as if it were my fault for being in his way. Five minutes later, I am on bar and I see his disgusting face at the register ordering his disgusting drink. You can bet he got mystery milk and decaf, as well as a very dirty look when I handed off his drink. **** you.
Later, this man was ordering his drink and he spoke very quickly, so the guy on register misheard "extra foam" as "extra hot" and rang it up accordingly. When "extra hot" appeared on the little screen, the guy FLIPPED OUT. He yelled in the most condescending voice, "NO, I DIDN'T WANT IT EXTRA HOT. I SAID EXTRA FOAM. EXTRA FOAM. EXTRA FOAM." YOU ARE GETTING COFFEE SIR AND YOU NEED TO CALM THE **** DOWN. Decaf.
Every. Last. Person. ..except the cool cops and a handful of nice regulars.
And when I say every last person, I mean every last person. I made all dozen double-batches of frappuccino roast today, and you know I used decaf VIA to do it. I also filled both hoppers with decaf Pike, yet filled the decaf hopper of one bar with regular espresso just in case someone I liked came in.
Dolly darling, I would stab each of those guys' brains out with a whisk. You just gimme the word.
Is it bad that I auto decaf people who request no foam?
not bad at all. I just don't aerate the milk of no foam people and let it scream the whole time. **** them.
I decaffed four no foam people today alone. One of then was actually nice so I felt bad. The other three were awful and one came back to complain "I believe that I said NO FOAM. It's not all that hard a concept, really. I'd come back there and do it myself if you guys allowed it." Haha, i'd love to see some **** of a disgustomer try to steam milk. It'd blow up in their face and they'd run for the hills. FML
No foam always = no caffeine in my book. Foam is part of the drink. If you can't drink it, buy some VIA and a frickin' Milk Chug from 7-11 and gtfo of my store uahuhgrhghhhnngh. strokin' out.
If people with no foam are known **** it's an auto decaf. If not, they get one chance. I make their beverage with as close to no foam as I can muster without wasting too much time or milk. That beverage will be high quality. If they **** and return it, I make a new beverage with mystery milk and dead decaf shots. You had your chance ****, enjoy.
My non-fat misto "ladies" have switched to iced grande 2 1/2 pumps mocha nonfat no WC light ice iced mochas.
I am so glad that it's so easy to decaf them now. Before it was difficult because of the tags we have on the urns. "Is that bold? But it says 'decaf' on the urn."
I love it when the line is out the door and one of them is standing at the hand-off plane saying, "I need to go back to work! Are you done with my drink yet?"
A long line ≠ you getting back to work on time.
No matter how b!tchy you act.
This b-itch on her cell phone decided to hold her hand in my face when I was trying to take her beverage order, in a 'talk to the hand' fashion. Hahaha. #Decaf4Lyfe
I decaffed as many damn people today as I could. Today sucked b*lls.
there was a lady that made a comment about me smoking today. totally **** me off.. it's people like her that make me smoke, enjoy your decaf venti 3 pump SFV whatevermilkisteamedihavenoidea latte and have a great day!
There was this absolutely horrid lady in my store the other day. She gets to the register and orders like 3 complicated drinks and then her phone rings and she picks up and it's her mother and they start to argue about some ****. Anyway, the register partner is trying to communicate the total and stuff because we had a line but she takes her sweet time (this whole time she's been screaming into her phone). He gets the money from her and says "thank you" and she walks away, doesn't say a word, doesn't tip, and stands by the handoff. while she's gabbing away, her drinks come up and the bar partner set them in plain sight, looked directly at the lady, called them all loudly and clearly, but the woman isn't paying any attention so the drinks sit there for like ten minutes and she finally gets off the phone and asks the partner where her drinks are. The partner tells her they're right there on the handoff all ready to go, very politely. The lady picks one up and starts complaining that they aren't hot. The partner tells her that they were sitting there a while and the lady asks why nobody told her they were ready and the partner tries to explain that she called the drinks out like 4 times. She flips her **** and tells us that we were rude and inconsiderate to her and that from the moment she walked in the door we had treated her like garbage. So we apologize and offer to remake her drinks but she refuses and storms out. Didn't get the chance to retaliate but if I ever see her again, I am gonna be the most pleasant motherf**ker. But she's getting dead decaf shots and scalded milk.
Is it bad that I auto decaf people who request no foam?
You could just do what I do and, if I have no more milk in the pitcher and have to scoop foam still, just leave their drink a little short of the top. If they **** make up some excuse about how this is what you are supposed to do for "no foam" drinks as foam is part of the drink recipe. Most of the time when I do it people don't even notice since it's not like they're about to take the lid off anyway.
What makes me want to decaf people is when they ask for some sort of (insert syrup flavor here) nonfat (insert insane amount of artificial sweetener ADDED TO YOUR COFFEE DRINK here) latte. WHY. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. WHY WOULD YOU ADD 3 AND 1/2 EQUAL TO YOUR LATTE?!
I effing hate how they always take off the lid like they have to check our work or something. That's like my biggest pet peeve lately.
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