Mr. Trenta in my store is a tall black guy, medium build.
This brawny guy came into my store with this gorgeous woman and placed their order. I made an iced grande CM and a venti STCF +WC. When the guy picked up the strawberries and creme instead of the lady, I turned to my register barista and said, "He's definitely lying to her."
"Hey, you got whip cream on your apron"
"That isn't whip cream"
LOL @ Unsweetened.
My coworker asked me what time I get off. "All the time."
Lol Unsweetened, that was hilarious!
Dry Sharpie, I had this coworker that when he'd come up to get his partner bev marked out he'd say, "do you want my numbers?" And when I replied that I did he would give me the area code from where we live, then say, "Oh I forget that's just the numbers I wish you would ask me for" with a sad puppy face. It was hilarious, even more so because since we worked together I already had his number lol. This was also the guy who's name I'd say when I meant a drink needed to be extra hot lol.
GaveYouDecaf, that reminds me. When I ring up partner beverages, I ask "what are your numbers?" After the transaction goes through, I pull out my phone and ask, "Alright what are your other numbers?", with a wink.
Lol, that has got to be the thing I miss the most about my last store. It was basically a huge sexual harassment club in which we worked making coffee for people. Now that I think back to it, I wonder how we had time to harass each other so much while there was soooo much work to be done.
Yeah, the sexual "harassment" is over the top in my store too lol. The "not whip cream" on my apron usually goes a bit further haha.
"I don't know WHAT that is...... J. was standing behind me when I was on my knees scrubbing the fridges... now I've got THIS all over me... what the hell J?!"
Hahaha. We used to have one girl at that store who would grab my **** more than my bf did lol. She would walk past and rub-grab and go, "oh oops, did I touch you?"
When your coworkers are on their knees cleaning the fridges, it's the best time to sit on their backs and give your feet a much needed rest. "Scrub, my little puppet, scrub!"
I just leave short cups full of white mocha carefully hidden around the store if I'm opening.
Cleaning out the white mocha, I put all the leftover in a trenta cup.
"I'll pay you $20 to drink all that"
"Oh, you'd like to see that, wouldn't you?" ;)
I used to work at a barnes and noble cafe, which sold starbucks coffee. For a mocha frappuccino light, the initials was MLF, which looks like MILF (duh). anyways...
TALL MLF WITH WHIP.
lol, that reminds me of the first time someone ordered a steamed milk, I had no idea what the initials were for that, so I asked my (very busy) coworker. From across the store, I thought he said STD, so... that's what I put down. STD in a cup... yum.
New hottie barista to me: "I always come when you finish."
He meant to pick up the drink and I thought damn too bad.
Whenever a customer says "That was fast," or "You're really fast today," I can barely contain my "That's what she said" until I find an appropriately un-stuffy coworker.
^^^^ I think the exact same thing but then again if that is what she said then you are saying that you suck at it so I dont say it but it almost rolls of the tongue naturally.
Lol, when one of the guys gets the "wow, you're fast!" compliment from a customer we don't even have to say it anymore, we just give him a look and we all know we're telepathically saying, "Hope you're not that fast at everything." Hehehe.
Hey, you've got to be able to add self-deprecating to your humor arsenal to survive.
Well, they used to call me the minute man, but I've been trying to cut it down to just 30 seconds. Hurray for barista efficiency at Starbucks...
Backstory: these two guys who work together are in line - sometimes they pay together, sometimes not ...
me (on R2): "I can help the next guest in line - oh, wait! Are you two guys together?"
him: "well, we were. But we broke up last week"
me: "oh, I'm sorry. That was probably awkward having to stand behind him in line."
him: "that's the position I'm used to"
The customer, myself and the barista on R1 start cracking up and the other customer is just smiling and not saying anything.
him: "look he's not even denying it!"
me: "yeah, he's just standing there taking it"
him: "yeah, that's the position he's used to .."
Only at Starbucks can you get naked and have some hot passion to go with it.
"Naked" juice and hot "passion" tea, that is.
Sometimes when a smoothie comes up, I'll say "Wow, look at this BIG banana!" and show it to my fellow baristas.
One time, no joke- this guy ordered a wet cappuccino and described it as "I like my cappuccino the way I like my women."
ogkj, that's pretty hilarious! Lol.
Dry Sharpie, I was really glad when you finished your comment with the second sentence lol.
I made some awkward innuendo joke today to a coworker but apparently I can never joke with him again because he just looked at me like I'd killed his mother and urinated on her dead body. Sure, it wasn't the funniest joke and you don't even have to laugh, but really? He's just an a-hole in general though and enjoys putting people down so he'll feel like less of a terrible person in comparison.
!!!! what did you say?
He had biked to work in the rain and said it was nice to be in dry pants again, and I said they wouldn't stay dry for long. It wasn't even that bad. :P
lololo that's some oversensitivity right there. Maybe he has incontinence issues and mistakenly realized SOMEONE KNOWS.
lolol @ ogkg.partner's conversation. That's pretty honest.
@smiley: When I'm on register and take orders for smoothies, I frown whenever I pass off a big banana and say "If only it were that big. If only."
@GaveYouDecaf: In bed, it only takes me 2 minutes nowadays... to fall asleep.
@dolly: I wet my pants every day at work. Mocha, spirit cleaner, frappucino, steamed milk, mop water, you name it!
A coworker asked me the other day: "Did so-and-so tell you about her dream?"
"No, why?"
"Yo her dream was SOOOO messed up. It was just sick and twisted."
"What did she say?"
"I told [the ASM] and she was like '...I'm going to have to write her up for that.'"
"WHAT DID SHE SAY?!"
"Hahaha. Ehhhh never mind, you're not old enough."
"..."
Morning buns... it's in the way you say it. "How do you like YOUR buns in the morning?" "Would you like me to heat up your buns for you?"
And every time I hand over a shift I make sure to say, "My duties are all finished". Every time I have to talk about the duty roster I giggle actually.
@ Dolly, that guy's a jerk.
@ Sharpie, really? In bed I can go forever and toss and turn and still not fall asleep. Which is why I end up here at odd hours of the night talking to you about how long we last in bed.
It's 11:50PM in NYC right now. I'm up until 3-4AM when I'm posting on IH8SBUX.
It's easy for me to pass out when I do so much manual labor. Heck, even my thumbs are sore from popping open one too many tumbler lids (30 iced teas in an hour).
A 10 minute slide in a busy store is more like 20. No one changes the sanitizer, so the bucket is all gross and the color (pike with milk). No prepped milk carafes. The entire RTD is empty, gotta bring everything out to the front. The trash bins are full, gotta change all 4 of them.
You must log in to post.