Would you like that warmed with butter.... Our cutsomer invoice was down, our manager said "what makes everything better?! warm it with butter" ha
Sexual Innuendo, Starbucks style!(161 posts) (72 voices)
Me: You're getting naked?
Her: *blank stare*
Me: $2.67 please.
...would you like your receipt?
You should see my store when we're shaking up the whips. It's like masturbation station! Especially since, when we're "done", we have to spray a little bit of the whip out to make sure it has been shaken enough. Yeah... you should see the looks customers give us, even when we're NOT being idiots and just trying to do our job. It's pretty hilarious.
Also, I have this one guy who orders a "venti Passion tea lemonade with extra tea", and every day when I hand it off to him, just to be stupid, I grin and wink at him and say "There ya go, Mark. I put some *extra PASSION* in there for ya,". He always grins and laughs, but to this day I think he only half gets it. :P
This is a frequent one at our store:
Barista 1: (being completely serious) *looks at their shoes* Eugh, why are these floors/mats so sticky?
Barista 2: I just came! ;)
Also, we have several customers who order their cappuccinos extra dry. When this happens, if it's one of our boys working, the order usually goes something like this:
Barista 1: *sets down cup* Grande, cappuccino, extra dry.
Me: So dry it's like a desert in my mouth? ;)
It's so hard for them to keep a straight face with the customer after that. Ever single time, without fail.
Mr. Trenta: [to customer, referring to bagels] "I have a soft one here for you."
Dry Sharpie: "That's not a good thing."
Okay, I've got one more...
I'm a fairly new partner.. been with the company about 9 months now. On my first day on the floor, it was time to take out trash, and it was the holidays so there was A LOT of it. As I'm throwing all of the bags out the back door, obviously a bit over whelmed, one of the other baristas, this young guy about 17 years old (I was 19 at the time), follows me outside and starts helping load the bags into the trash can. Relieved to see help, I smile and say "Oh, are you gonna do it with me? :D" and he gets this sly little grin on his face and replies back, completely straight face "No.. but I will help you take out trash." My face was beat red for about 30 minutes and he wouldn't let me live it down for the rest of my shift.
I was also recently clued in that on my first shift as a barista, on the giant marker board in our back room was written "DOES THE CARPET MATCH THE DRAPES?!" and a bunch of my co workers took turns writing their anonymous responses "Yes/No/Wouldn't you like to know/bare floors/flames, etc". I had no idea! P.S - I'm a red head.
Wow, that's pretty messed up nemmah. I hope you treat your male coworkers like **** after hearing about that.
Nah, it was all done in good humor. They're all really nice, really funny guys. If they were douches, I most definitely wouldn't be re-telling the tale on a thread like this. :)
At the risk of exposing my identity, my nasty-hot coworker said out loud today, "Someone once told me: the darker the berry the sweeter the juice."
**** that's hot. Haha.
Shift supervisor: [referring to till] "Are you on top or bottom?"
Dry Sharpie: "I'm bottom right now, but I prefer being on top." [winks]
Shift supervisor: "Oho, somebody's got jokes tonight."
Lol that reminds me... the other day I asked one of the managers if he could move my till to the top and he was like, "Ohh, so you like it on top hehehe" "Uhhh...." "Me, I like it any way..."
So, so awkward lol. He's old and pervy... my coworker overheard and we just gave eachother that look... and decided to refer to him as Quagmire from now on.
Meow at him Hannah! Making hissing cat noises that those customers complain about lol.
Lol, I have used the drawer one many times myself. I used to have this shift who would always want to close my drawer so he would have more time in the back and off the floor so he's ask me, "Hey, were you top or bottom?" To which I'd answer, "Well I was on top/bottom, but I thought we had agreed to keep our relationship private." Lol, oh I miss the sbux sexual harassment :(
Would you like some extra protein in your frappuccino....
lmao! Best thread EVARRRRR!
:O I have a guy who says the same thing about sticking my finger into his coffee - whattt?? Why do you even think that'd be a good flirting line.. !!
I don't care as long as I get a nice tip though ha !
I always feel dirty and start blushing after I say "Lemme just grab your morning bun for you" or "lemme grab your cheese danish" so awkward sounding! Also kinda innaproppriate: "Don't worry sir, I've got your sausage in the oven right now for you ! "
Also anytime someone orders an extra hot, extra wet cappuccino I can't keep a straight face...
@Dry sharpz: Ha! I love that. Pretty much everytime my favorite shifts asks me that, we both start giggling uncontrollably because we're so incredibly immature.
Second favorite shift:"So you and I were both on top tonight -"
Me: "Because sex totally works like that."
[Hot girl comes through DT with a kitten in a basket next to her on the passenger seat]
BW: What a nice ****!...
[takes card, swipes on the register 1 second later pops head out of DT window]
BW: CAT!...Nice **** cat!
She went so red. I had to go to the back and stick my head in the milk fridge.
[Putting away the truck delivery]
SS: There is a huge load today. Could you help me with it?
BW: No thanks. I only make them.
Female SS to male barista: "Just get in and get out."
Me: "You sound just like my mother!"
Female SS: "I didn't mean... crap."
"Oh, I'll blow your steam wand. Mhmmm."
"Would you like some NUTS to go with your...oatmeal?"
"You gotta take it out early" (when heating a veggie in the oven under a ham setting)
Thats what she said!
Also my shift asked me if i was on top or bottom (meaning the till) and i tried so hard not to say "wherever you want me to be"
"sorry, my drizzel sorta just exploded over the cup."
Partner orders a drink "i'll just take it in the back for you ;)" I did the whole smiling thing too.
Oh and making whip creams as if you're masturbating is the best infront of girls, especially when little bits of heavy whipping cream flew off the end. They caught on, I looked away embarrassed.
(11:06:19 PM) marblemacchiato: every 8 minutes I reset the timer and change postions
shift supervisor in her loud voice like always: "Do you want your muffin warmed?!"
she had to repeat this for an older lady several times. I was cracking up in the back
Top and bottom, whip jokes, and **** milk are all common with me as I'm the oh so cliche gay barista :')
@oneohoneohfive I'm glad you saved that from IRC. I was particularly proud of that one. :)
This happened today; another barista is steaming breve and I blurt out, "Well, she's a screamer!"
Got some very weird looks from other partners.
Any orders for "long and wet" espresso macchiatos get the eybrows waggling at my store.Posted 7 months ago #
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