When Howard Schultz pees, it comes out as the perfect espresso shot.
Howard Schultz is Capable of Anything
(60 posts) (21 voices)-
Posted 1 year ago #
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Is this like one of those Chuck Norris tees but with Howie? I dig.
Posted 1 year ago # -
When Howard Schultz decafs a customer, they thank him for it.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Howie sweats Passion tea.
This is like freakin Dos Equis! I love it!
Posted 1 year ago # -
When Howard Schultz double-bars during the morning rush, he does it solo with beverage repeatable routine, and actually talks to the customers!
I was going to make a crack about Howard Schultz making Starbucks instant coffee. LOL it already happened!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Uses his own special creme in vanilla bean
Posted 1 year ago # -
When Howard Schultz does a 10 minute lobby slide, he also double-checks to see if there's a Starbucks across the street.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Howard Schultz knows what every customer wants before they even know it themselves.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Howard Schultz defeated the Japanese in the War of 1812.
Posted 1 year ago # -
When Steve Jobs takes a sip of Howard Schultz's espresso, he goes "This changes everything again!"
Posted 1 year ago # -
Howard Schultz can tell when you decaf him... and he doesn't mind. Schultz can also identify your mystery milk and the number of re-steamings it's gone through.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Howard Schultz once made every drink during an eight hour open with breastmilk he pumped that morning.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Howard Schults **** mocha sauce, caramel sauce comes out of his ears, and his nose drips white mocha.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Han Solo didn't shoot first, it was clearly Howie.
Posted 1 year ago # -
When God gives Howard Schultz lemons, he sells iced tea lemonade back to God.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Howard Schultz knows each customer by name, drink, and c.ock. and provides legendary service while following BRR to a T.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Even when using a Mastrena, Howard tamps and grinds his own shots manually, wincing bravely as the robotic arm pushes the steaming grounds puck into his waiting hand.
The pastries in Howard's store REALLY ARE made in the back room like customers think they are. Yes.
Each of Howard Schultz' fingers dispenses a different flavored syrup from the tip. Unfortunately, since Valencia was discontinued, he had to amputate the left thumb, but he can still double bar with BR2 faster than you can. You don't want to know where the white mocha comes from.
When Howard Schultz doesn't have barbackup, he turns around to make the frappuccinos and tea lemonades and delicately pulls espresso shots with his flexible buttocks.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Howard Schultz farts out the scent of fresh-brewed Sumatra made in a French press only moments ago.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Howie does not watch porn, porn watches Howie make coffee.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Posted 1 year ago #
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When roasting his own coffee at home, as he often does, Howard Schultz makes http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kopi_Luwak but instead of using a palm civet, he digests the beans himself.
Posted 1 year ago # -
oh God CoffeeAssassin. OH. MY. GOD.
Howard Schultz doesn't use the Mastreno's hopper to grind espresso beans. He places the beans between his buttcheeks and flexes out an espresso shot. Macchiato foam included.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Omg. After being stuck in the trenches for the past few days and away from this fantastic forum, this is just what I needed to come back to.
Howard Schultz could sell a Via Ready Brewer to the Amish.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Howard Schultz can suck my **** !
Posted 1 year ago # -
^ +250 internets
Posted 1 year ago # -
Who is Howard Schultz?
For real, I was 3-4 months into Starbucks and a guy comes up, orders, and then tells me he just read Howard Shultz's book, and it was actually good...
Me: "Oh... yeah?"
Guy: "Yeah, you should read it!"
My brain: "Who the **** is Howard Shultz??" :)Posted 1 year ago # -
how do you not know this, they beat this guy's propaganda into our heads from the moment we are hired. he's the CEO of starbucks
... this goofy looking huge teeth b.astard http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/tQJ4dO_S6KJ/Starbucks+CEO+Howard+Schultz+Discusses+Tenure/0SAWenZFEjY/Howard+Schultz
Posted 1 year ago # -
Speaking of Howard. He is suppose to be around my neck of the woods next week and there is a very good chance he might be stopping by our store. and I'm kind of freaking out. I don't want to be working when that dude comes around.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Does anyone else refer to him as Uncle Howie?
Posted 1 year ago # -
123, it was a joke lol (but the story was true).
I'm sure it was in the training manuals (I remember there was something about the history of Starbucks) but I wasn't exactly paying attention. :)
I actually got "trained" while doing 80 hours a week (40 at another job), understaffed at both places, while I was horrendously ill, during the Superbowl (massively busy). I guess I was distracted.
Posted 1 year ago #
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