Drink Recipes, Part Three (What the Frap and Teabaggin')
*Remember to always check your store's recipe cards for updated/truly correct recipes*
New beer in hand, LET'S REVIEW. You now know the basics of making the filthiest of drugs for the fattest of people. Be forewarned that these shambling monstrosities WILL attempt to customize their frappuccinos because, let's face it, the company encourages obesity and retardation. One only hopes each and every last one of them stroke out before they spawn, but in most cases, it is far, far too late, and their wretched little cephalopod gestations will too be barking chubbily at you in a few years. However, I digress.
Alright, frappuccinos. Let's go. Come at me, bro. Ignoring any stupid customizations, here are the basic recipes.
Remember in all of these, milk to the first green line. Lights are nonfat, coffee base and creme base are whole.
2 pumps frappuccino roast
2 pumps coldbev syrup(mocha, and if it has the plastic longnose goblin pump) and/or 2 scoops powder
1 pump espresso bar syrup (white mocha or plastic shortnose orc pump)
1 tall scoop (scoop not available? use an iced tall cup!) ice
2 pumps base.
3 pumps frappuccino roast
3 pumps coldbev syrup (longnose), and/or 3 scoops of powder
2 pumps espresso bar syrup (shortnose)
1 grande scoop of ice (or an iced grande cup of ice!)
3 pumps base.
4 pumps frrrrap roast
4 pumps coldbev syrup (longnose) and/or 4 scoops powder
2 pumps espresso bar syrup (shortnose!)
1 venti scoop OR THE ICED VENTI CUP?! of ice!
4 pumps base base base base.
When you come across the dreadful decaf frappuccinos, IIRC the correct number of shots is 1-2-2. I could very well be wrong.
The Recipe for Disaster
Now, there are some tricksy ones. I think I'll go down the line here and list the bigguns. Remember, for coffee-based light frappuccinos, they don't regularly get whip or toppings unless they're the dreaded MCFL. Also note that the 'L' in light frappuccinos comes at the END OF THE MARKING. Like MFL, or EFL, or CRFL.
Coffee Based An Heroes
Coffee frappuccino (CF)- fraproast, milk, ice, base. No whip.
Mocha frappuccino (MF)- fraproast, milk, coldbev mocha, ice, base. Whip.
Caramel frappuccino (CRF)- fraproast, milk, coldbev mocha, ice, base. Whip and caramel drizzle.
Java chip frappuccino (JCF)- fraproast, milk, coldbev mocha, coldbev java chips, ice, base. Whip, mocha drizzle.
Espresso frappuccino (EF)- fraproast, 1-1-1 shots, milk, ice, base.
Mocha Coconut frappuccino (MCF)- fraproast, milk, coldbev mocha, coldbev coconut, ice, base. Whip, mocha drizzle, coconut flakes.
Creme Based An Heroes
Double chocolatey chip (DCCF)- milk, coldbev mocha, coldbev java chips, ice, base. Whip and mocha drizzle.
Vanilla bean (VBF)- milk, vanilla bean powder, ice, base. Whip.
Strawberries and creme (STCF)- milk to first green, strawberry to second green, classic syrup, ice, base. Whip.
Green tea frappuccino (GRTF)- milk, matcha, classic syrup, ice, base. Whip.
Syrup creme frappuccino (SF)- milk, syrup, ice, creme base. Whip.
Chai creme frappuccino (CHCF)- This is a weird one. The official recipe (1/2/2 chai) is corporate sabotage: customers will bawww that it just tastes like milky water. So to make sure you never have to remake one of these, basically you make it like a coffee frappuccino, but replace the frappuccino roast with chai syrup using the same number of pumps (2/3/4). Then you whip it and sprinkle the regular cinnamon (note, not the cinnamon dolche) powder on it. Impress your veteran coworkers with knowing how to make one! And then junkpunch them for their insolence!!
CONCERNING THE CLASSIC OF GREEN TEA AND STURBERRIES AND CREME FLAPS: Prepare thyself- the recipe changed once more. It's now 2/3/4 classic syrup with the regular shortnose espresso bar pump, either black or white.
Them's the basics for frappuccinos. Then you have the other crap, like the smoothies. Those are always in an iced grande cup.
Orange mango/strawberry (OMS/SS)- orange or sturberry to first line, 2% to second, toss in blender, add a bananer, two scoops of protein, yellow scoop of ice. Blend.
Chocolate banana smoothie (CS)- 2% milk to second green line. Toss in the blender, add either six pumps of the coldbev mocha or three pumps of the espresso bar mocha, a bananer, two scoops of protein powder, the yellow scoopy of ice, and blend to create one of the most rancid, crappiest drinks we serve.
Then, finally, we come to blended lemonades.
Blended Lemonade (BL)- lemonade to second line, ice, frappuccino creme base.
Blended Sturberry Lemonade (BSL)- lemonade to first line, strawberry to second, ice, frappuccino creme base.
If they complain it's not sweet enough, remake with some classic- that's what the recipe used to have back in the day.
It's Tea Time
From me. Right now. Because I realized we don't have these on there.
Teas are rather self-explanitory. The recipes are clearly on the shaker. BUT LET'S REVIEW SHALL WE?!
Tall- 3 classic, tea to tealine, water/lemonade to nextline, ice to topline. Shakey.
Grande- 4 classic, tea to tealine, water/lemonade to nextline, ice to topline. Shake.
Venti- 6 classic, tea to tealine, water/lemonade to nextline, ice to topline. Shlack.
Trenta- 7 classic, tea to tealine, water/lemonade to nextline, ice to topline. Fear.
Too many fatties ordering trenta no water teas? Need to brew more? **** it, pop a big-**** teabag into a pitcher, fill it to one liter with hot water, let it steep for four (4) minutes, pull that sucker out with some tongs, shake it or squeeze it if you wanna before trashing it, and then fill the rest of the pitcher up with crisp, cool clean filtered water. Voila, more fuel for the machine.