So I meant to write this yesterday, but I never got around to it, and honestly, didn't want to think about it.
I'm at the register with about twenty minutes to go, and this guy, this horrible, terrible disgustomer comes in. He's becoming a regular, which p**sses me off because he only orders a frappuccino bottle. Hence, the following conversation...
Me: So you really don't want to try the frappuccinos we make, huh? They're so good! [y'know, trying to make more moolah for the bux]
Him: No, no, they're so heavy, you know? Why do you guys make them so heavy?
Me: Well, you can get them with non-fat milk and-
Him: That's the problem, you know, why we're all so big here. We eat food that we can't digest and it turns into fat. That's why you're big, you know?
I don't even remember what he said next. I think I glared at him and walked away. Then, and this is what p**sses me off, when I left work, he was standing outside down the block and I had my headphones in, looking straight ahead, and I didn't acknowledge him when he said, "Done with work already??!"
So then he says it again, and d@@mn my polite reflex, I yanked my earphones out and said, "WHAT?"
"Done with work already?!"
"Yeah." And I kept walking the f**ck away. So I get to the bus stop and the a@$$wipe is FOLLOWING ME. I'm sitting there and he comes up to me. I'm staring straight ahead and have my headphones in, and he tries to get my attention. I ignore him. He says something or other and I pulled out my headphones again, gave him the deathiest death glare I could, and said, "WHAT DO YOU NEED."
He blinked and backed up a little, then said, "Oh, I'm sorry, my name is..."
Me: WHAT DO YOU NEED.
Him: Oh, well, I'm a Soldier of Christ and you know, I can help you lose weight. I have the answers.
Me: *blinks, astonished, with my WTF face on*
Him: *holds up the rosary he's wearing* You've been heavy your whole life, right?
Me: I don't want to talk about this. *glares*
Him: Oh, sorry, sorry...*walks away*
He Followed. Me. To. The. F**cking. Bus. Stop.
Incident report when I get to work today.