So a little while ago I got a customer who called his wife a c u next tuesday infront of me. I posted about it that day. Anyway this guy also told me he would be seeing me around wink wink. This week he has been coming in everyday and spending a few hrs and striking up convos with me and just being overall creepy. I'm a 22 year old girl and this guy is 38. Each day he gets more and more brazen and creepy. First he started off by making comments about my hair and how good I looked in an apron (gross). It's really escalated really fast. This guy even bought me lunch and brought it to work. I threw it away infont of him just to **** him off and i've repeatdly told him that he didn't need to do that or try to be my friend or whatever, that I was not interested. But he just won't leave me alone. When I said that he said he liked me even more. And the guy buys coffee and acts nice to everyone else but seems too interested in me so I can't really kick him out can i? Well anyways the past two days I was sitting resting my head during my 10 minute break and out of nowhere he comes up behind me and strokes my hair and says how I soft it is and then he tried to massage my neck. I freaked and jumped out of my seat. He said sorry and left. The next day the same thing happened except this time he hugged me from behind and whispered in my ear are you okay? I will take care of you. I was so effing creeped out and I yelled at him but he seemed to like it and left looking really sad but he said that he was happy simply for the fact that I yelled at him but sad that he was leaving.
I really want to call the cops on this guy but I hate that type of drama as I had a stalker situation a few years ago and it didn't end well, he's a creeper but idk, I keep thinking he will just lay off. Idk maybe I'm just being dumb by not doing anything. The funny thing is whenever there are other female customers he will try to flirt with them to get my attention and they seem to like it because he is attractive. ugh
Stalker Situation
(49 posts) (13 voices)-
Posted 1 year ago #
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holy sh.it dude sounds like a creep. i'd threaten to call the cops next time he tries something, or ask your sm to speak to him the next time he's in the store. he should NOT be touching you like that without your permission. i f.uck.ing loathe guys who think they can treat women like that. i hope he rots in h3ll. the moment he touches you he forfeits any slack he otherwise might've been worth giving.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I work in a licensed store and my manager is almost never there. He's such a bum I even posted about this kid before worst manager ever. This guy comes whenever I'm there and only one time my manager was with me and the entire time he was watching me doing drinks and stuff and barely said a word to me but kept his eye on me. and whenever there were not any customers he would try to talk to me. I swear I'm just like dude I don't care...
When I yelled at him I did threaten him but he just didn't care. He said liked me even more and that it turned him on when I got angry and that if I called the cops and he got arrested he would use that as a foreplay scenario when "he takes me home". Like wtf. And when he is talking to other customers...well for example this is what happened: I heard one of the female customers make a comment about how I don't smile and how I'm quiet. And the guy said "Oh she's like that, but I know her really well and she always smiles at me. She probably doesn't like you. Be nicer to her next time." And he was really rude about it just because she said that. But usually he would flirt with other women if they didn't say anything about me. I'm like dude I don't need you to defend me. Like what a liar. And also he slipped me a note detailing all of the things he wants to do to me but made it sound like a love letter. UGHHHH tomorrow I am dreading work because I know he will show up.Posted 1 year ago # -
he's officially crossed over into harassment. call the cops next time he comes in and get a restraining order against him.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Yeah I already hate this job and he's just making it worse. I seriously have enough stress as it is. I really don't need this crap. Tomorrow I'm gonna have a talk with him and ask him how does he think this will end. IDK maybe i'm foolish atm.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I'm weirded out just reading this. He's not going to leave you alone I'll tell you that though.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Best solution imo - you should have a 3rd party calmly and firmly flat out tell him you're not interested. Preferably a male coworker. If he doesn't get it then, then call the boys in blue.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Have someone video tape it, call the police, get his phone number, and threaten to send the video to his wife. You could be on the next episode of CSI!
Seriously, this is a dangerous situation and law enforcement needs to be alerted.
Posted 1 year ago # -
First off, never be alone. Have someone with you when you go to and leave work. This is the best thing you can do. That letter really pushed the line.
Second, if you live in a bigger city, they have gun shows about every two months; I'm betting there is one about this time. I'm not about to suggest going to get a gun (I can help with that if you really want) but you can buy a small taser and mace for about $30 total. The gun show stuff is normally better than the stuff they sell at sporting good stores and Wal-mart.
Of course, getting him kicked out of the store is easiest. During a break when he is there, I would call the local police non-emergency number and ask for an officer or two to make their way over to your store. I'd mention that you'd buy them drinks afterwards to get them there a little faster. The police are pretty good about removing him from the store and then talking to him so there is no problem inside the store.
Now crazy people normally get crazier after a confrontation. It happened to me when I was waiting tables. If you're closing that night, ask the officer to return to walk you to your car if nobody can pick you up. This is a civil service and you actually have the right to it.
All-in-all, I agree with @Randy G. This is a terribly dangerous situation, and local law enforcement needs to be alerted.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Thanks for the advice guys. I know it's a dangerous situation that can get worse. It just sucks and I really don't want to deal with it. I'll keep you guys posted on what happens. I wish I saved the note to take a pic and show you guys but I seriously just ripped it up in front of him and threw it away. I was so weirded out, I couldn't believe the crap he wrote in it. If he shows up tomorrow I'm just gonna talk to him and tell him what I plan on doing if he doesn't stop.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I really suggest that you talk to your SM, and see if you can file 'incident reports'
Talk to the partners on your shift, and ask them to keep an eye out for you when he is around, so that if he does anything, they will see it and be able to be a witness. If your SM is not willing to do anything, call your DM, and if your DM is not willing to do anything, call Partner Resources. You can always go to the cops, but doing that will not get him banned from your store for sure. Also, if he has written anything to you, given you anything (maybe something that wasn't perishable) See if you can save it and SHOW that to your SM. Also, keep a watch out on his behavior to the customers when he is around. You will be able to have much more of a case against him if he is also harassing customers. You have the right to feel comfortable at the "third place" and there are regulations that protect us from customers like him.We had something similar to this at my store. But the guy wasn't doing nearly that much. He would give all the blondes in our store his number and ask them out. I think it escalated when he began leaving them in their cars windshield wipers, and etc. Anyways, he got banned really easily.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I'm reposting something that I wrote as a comment to a fellow Sbux victim.:
I don't want to alarm you, but you really need to involve the police. Better safe than sorry. As someone who was stalked at their workplace (not S-bux, surprisingly), I got the police involved and it was quickly resolved. I didn't want to become a statistic on the evening news and no woman should feel like she's inconveniencing anybody or being "rude" by putting her safety first. Don't you watch the news? Too many women and girls are on it as victims. Why on earth would you not do everything in your power to prevent yourself from becoming a victim? Your stalker seems ten times more frightening than mine and yet, I did something about it. I don't work for the company anymore and I'm just killing some time before I go out soon, but decided to sign in and say something. I'd hate to hear on the news that a young woman is missing after her closing shift at Starbucks and know that I could have said something to make you go to the police and have your family/friends pick you up from work and a tragedy could have been averted.
Again, I'm not trying to scare you, but if that's what it takes for you to realize your SM is a fu&ktard who is more interested in making their bonus and kissing customers' as$es than ensuring the safety of their employees, than so be it. Your safety is in your hands. DO NOT wait until someone else takes care of this problem for you, because guess what? They don't give a $hit and it might just be too late for you.Posted 1 year ago # -
This gave me the chills just reading it. Good luck. Stay safe.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Echoing what eyeadapt said, document EVERY odd occurrence with an incident report. You can attach a blank piece of paper and you are encouraged to put down your version of the story. It'll require the signature of a shift, and then they report it to corporate. In that vein, yes, tell all of your partners, your shifts and your SM/ASM what is going on. Everyone on the floor should be aware when he comes in and what he does. It's like a gang mentality - he's picking on you alone, but if you have other people around you who know who he is, what he is doing and how he's acting, 90% of the time the creepy person will chicken out and leave.
Don't think of it as creating "drama", it's about protecting yourself. For all of the crap we go through as partners, NO partner should ever feel unsafe at their own job. That's the bare MINIMUM standard we should expect. I had a stalker at my store and so did another partner, and my SM told me straight up that he would do whatever it took to keep us safe. I filed incident reports every time they came to the store, for strange phone calls, anything I could. Keep escalating it. Shut him down every time he does something and tell him that you are filing an incident report. If your SM won't listen, contact the DM. If the DM doesn't do anything, call Business Conduct or Partner Hotline and tell them that your store isn't taking threats to partner safety seriously.
I know it might sound I'm taking it really seriously, but as someone who was a victim of stalking a few times, I've learned that it's never good to be quiet. Make a scene, draw attention that their behavior is NOT OKAY. Screw "the third place", screw "creating a friendly environment for the customer", this guy has obviously stepped over the line.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I pretty much broke down today. I felt really helpless. Today he showed up and I had already decided I was going to talk to him and see exactly where he thought this was going to go. So he shows up and I'm alone of course because my dumb coworkers decided to leave right when I show up. So basically I'm alone for a good 3 hours. He shows up and takes a seat, pretends to read the newspaper and is watching me out of corner of his eye while i'm working. When the rush dies down I walk over to him and sit down. I tell him I want to talk to him and he's like "oh really!"
So basically this is how the convo went:"What do you want from me?"
"What do you mean, I come here everyday and give you attention, of course I want you."
"you're really making me feel uncomfortable, if you don't stop I'm going to call the police on you. What you're doing is harrassment you know."
"that's fine, call the police, they can't arrest me for being in love"
"what the **** do you mean, in love, you barely know me you piece of ****"
"I love it when you get angry, I wonder if you're the same in bed"
*Me just shocked, like omg wtf*
So basically I sigh, and I start pleading with him
"Please leave me alone, if you say you like me that much you will respect my wishes"
"I really can't do that, I really feel in love with you and I can't let this opportunity go."
"Why, why me? What the hell is so great about me that you want me?"
"I don't know, I just felt like you're the one for me"
"So why the hell do you have to be such a creep about? You do know you are stalking me at work. How the hell do you expect me to even like you? And I heard you call your wife a c u next tuesday? What woman would even look at you after that?"
"Well she is c u next tuesday, I'm planning on divorcing her you know. I just hate her."
"Okay I don't care about that. Get this straight, I am not interested in you and I'm really afraid for my life here. Do you think I would even like someone who gives me this much stress? I really hate you."
"What? You hate me? you don;t know me"
"I hate people who creep me out and you don't know me either, so how can you say you love me?"Customer comes, so i just walk away. He is still there after a few more customers just staring at me. I'm getting really just **** at this point and I want to cry.
So I go sit down with him again.
"Please leave, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE"
"You look like you're going to cry, do you want me to take care of you?"I start to cry and I ask him to leave again. At this point I am shaking. He gets up to try to "calm me down" and I flip. I shake myself away from him and cry even harder, like sobbing. People are noticing at this point. Surprisingly he just stares at me for a few minutes while I'm crying, and doesn't say anything, and then he smiles. Then he just walks away.
An hour later my manager comes in and I tell him what's been going on and he says "he will look into it" Just like that. Like whatever, who cares.
I feel like crap now. I think now I have to call the cops.Posted 1 year ago # -
You need to call. This is getting pretty serious. I am really afraid for you right now.
And why the hell are your co-workers running out on you? Are you licensed?
This needs to end now.
Posted 1 year ago # -
My coworkers are **** lazy. When I first got to work this morning the register was acting funny, there was half and half on the floor, coffee ran out, cups needed to restocked as well as lids and sleeves...umm what else oh yeah and there was a rush! Like stay for a while and help me. I was so annoyed then this creep comes and just stesses me out even more. I really hate this job now, I never thought I would deal with this crap so early. Ive only been there since the end of January. I have to open tomorrow and just have a lump in my throat now. This guy knows what car I drive. I want to cry again. and yeah we're a licensed store.
Posted 1 year ago # -
This dude has no grip on acceptable human interaction. File the report!
Posted 1 year ago # -
When he shows up to work tomorrow, immediately call the police. You are being harassed and possibly coerced via your safety by this man, at least that's the way a court might see it.
Also, next time he's in, call your manager in saying that there is a serious problem in the store (don't say what) and demand his presence immediately. If he really needs to know, lie and say that water backed up or something.
I would also call partner resources now or in the morning and ask them to note your file and find out exactly what to do and what your SM should be doing.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Okay I will see what I can do tomorrow. Thanks for the advice, you guys are really nice. I'm just so stressed out now, haven't had any sleep the past few days and I feel so numb. Idk what to think or do. I'm trying to work on some work for school and I can't even concentrate on that. I want to scream. I was so scared today. When he just stared at me and smiled I got chills down my spine. Like he looked so satisfied, like he wanted me to break down and cry and I gave in. Now he knows he's gotten to me.
I really can't believe this is happening to me. I mentioned before I had a similar situation a few yrs ago that ended badly. I was attacked and it almost ruined my life and I wanted to commit suicide. It is just making me very sad right now thinking this might happen again.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I would recommend NOT going up to him any more. It's obvious that he will spin ANY attention you give him into positive attention. When he walks in, walk right off the floor, into the back and call the police. Keep an eye on him on the security camera. Tell your shift straight out that you will not be stared at/threatened while on the floor. Do not go back out on the floor without a shift/SM or the police.
DO NOT ENGAGE WITH HIM IN ANY CONVERSATION. He will not listen to reason and more interactions with him are fueling his infatuation. Nothing you will say will make him go away - it's time for action.
Call the 24/7 Business Conduct line if you are scared enough that it is impacting you out of work. I would recommend saying that your SM is not keeping your safety a priority. If you have a friend who knows the situation, maybe have them come with you to the local police station to see what your options are in terms of filing a complaint/restraining order.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Glimmer, it sounds to me like you think that asking others who should be dealing with this to deal with this is inconveniencing them. IT IS NOT. it is their job(s) to help you. you should never have to feel threatened in your workplace - or threatened at all, for that matter. call partner resources before you go into work next. as someone else suggested, call your sm as soon as he walks in next time. if your sm refuses to come, tell him you're going to call the police and corporate - and then do. if you're licensed, chances are you're in a mall or strip mall - if you can, get the number for the mall/strip mall's security company and call them too the next time he's there. you need to stand your ground. you don't deserve this, and this scumbag doesn't deserve to get away with this. this is NOT acceptable, NOT typical, and definitely NOT okay. please don't feel like you're being an inconvenience. this is your life and safety, not some little thing that'll probably just go away.
Posted 1 year ago # -
1. This is not your fault and you are not dumb ok.
2. You let it escalate too far before you spoke to him to tell him to stop, HOWEVER, you did confront him let him know it's not ok and
Told him its making u uncomfortable.
3. Call the cops, get his **** arrested- what he did was battery. That's touching someone without their consent. You can also get an order of protection so that he can't come to ur place of business or anywhere u frequent (home ,school) ( bc seriously who knows if this creep has REALLY been following u everywhere) if he violates that order he gets arrested.You have the right to feel safe...this guy is seriously violating u and it's not ok. Maybe u can make friends with a cop so he can hang out at SB if u don't take action... What cop doesn't like coffee :)
Good luck girl
Posted 1 year ago # -
I cannot agree with these guys any more strongly. Please please be safe.
Posted 1 year ago # -
So this is what happened today: I called in sick and said I wouldn't be able to open. Really I did not sleep a wink and I just didn't feel like going to work. So anyway I don't go to work. Also I had called my manager last night and told him again each detail of everything that has happened. He said he would do the best he can to take care of the situation. So around 8am or so I am woken up by my phone and it is a number I don't recognize. I answer the phone and it's the guy. I can't believe he managed to get my number. He asked me why I wasn't at work. I told him to go to hell and I hung up. He called again and kept calling. I didn't answer. I called my manager and told him exactly what happened. He said he will notify store management. I stayed in bed all day depressed. Also I'm pretty sure this guy knows where I live, but my house is secured well by a gate and an alarm system and dogs. *sigh*
Posted 1 year ago # -
Holy **** ****. Coll the cops RIGHT now.
Like if he is calling you that much, like get something done NOW, don't wait for management, don't wait for anything. CALL THE COPS. IMMEDIATELY.Don't even state it as stalking, just harassment. Give them his phone number, hopefully you kept the phone records, and any texts they sent you. If you can't feel safe at work, that's one thing, but not safe in your house, yeah, you needa deal with this guy.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Yeah I just might do that. I am so stressed. I want to leave my house to go to the police station but I can't, afraid this guy might ambush me. I don't want to tell my parents about this, so I might just have a friend go with me.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Yeah, I highly suggest you get a friend to take you to the police station right now and to file a harassment charge.
Posted 1 year ago # -
This thread is incredibly ridiculous now.
Glimmer: stop talking to him! Don't pick up your phone for numbers you don't recognize. File a restraining order with the police department.
If he shows up to work, walk off the floor immediately and call the police. Don't even talk to him! That's all you need to do.
There better not be any more sob stories about him. Because seriously, what the **** are your coworkers and everyone else doing?
Posted 1 year ago # -
Dude, my coworkers are a bunch of morons. They say "oh yeah you get stalkers it's normal."
Whatever. Also, you sound really annoyed. I'm the one who has to deal with this crap, not you.Posted 1 year ago #
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