I Hate Starbucks

1. IceCapp
   

   Member
   

   Internets:146

    

   Dear Drive Thru Customers,

   On behalf of the baristas at Starbucks Corporation, I would like to thank you for your patronage. We appreciate the continuous harassment, humiliation, and verbal assault you disburse on a daily basis.

   However, in light of a recent inclination of phantom modifiers, that is the ones you ask about at the window but never asked for at the box, I have recently adopted a strict policy of lies. Blatant lies. If you ask, "Is this extra hot?" at the window, but never said it originally, I will simply tell you, "Yes," hand you a sleeve, and send you on your merry way. Is this nonfat? Same answer.

   However, some of you have gotten smart. You have begun to ask, "Is that true?" to the DT Bar partner. However through a highly sophisticated collaboration using our barista telepathy, the bar partner will give you the same answer.

   Be fooled. We are lying to you. Straight faced. Your drink, in actuality, is NOT extra hot. It is 160°F. We do not feel it necessary to cave to your foolish demands.

   Sincerely,

   IceCapp

   Posted 1 year ago #

2. thinkdeep
   

   Member
   

   Internets:428

    

   I thought this was what everyone did!

   Posted 1 year ago #

3. Dry Sharpie
   

   Moderator
   

   Internets:82

    

   It applies to cafe customers too. When I ring and bar customers, I know exactly what they want because I write the cup completely. Down to the sweetened/no sugar, whipped cream or not, and wet/dry.

   So when they ask me for some random modifier out of the blue, I will straight up lie to them that "it is."

   Posted 1 year ago #

4. Barista_named_Tex
   

   Member
   

   Internets:329

    

   I'm guilty of "...is that soy? i'm allergic to soy."
   me: "Of course it's not soy!"

   It is soy.

   Posted 1 year ago #

5. eyeadapt
   

   Member
   

   Internets:2,289

    

   I accidentally forgot to decaf the Venti Iced Americano for the pregnant woman who complained about it being sweetened...

   Posted 1 year ago #

6. OrangeBlossom
   

   Member
   

   Internets:1,176

    

   Forgetting decaf is a regular occurrence for me...which is funny considering I decaf SO MANY people that **** me off!

   Posted 1 year ago #

7. Anonymous
   

   Unregistered
   

   Internets:457

    

   I can't lie to save my life when it comes to people I give a crap about. However I take GREAT pleasure in telling lies to customers. White ones, outrageous ones, doesn't matter. "is that extra caramel?" sure! "do you have any more raw sugar?" *looks at the plexi holding raw sugar* nope!

   Posted 1 year ago #

8. Like_extraextraextra_CR
   

   Member
   

   Internets:34

    

   ^ I just thought that was Starbucks standards?

   Posted 1 year ago #

9. CoconutLime
   

   Member
   

   Internets:102

    

   I am terribly guilty of glancing at the DT labels for a half second during a super-busy bar shift. You asked for skinny? Oops, I already put regular syrup in. Decaf? Too late, I hit the regular button (I should be more careful with this one, though).

   If you asked for kids temp and I've already steamed it past that, well, you're getting some old and cold stuff in there, too.

   If they seem like a pleasant customer, I don't mind remaking it the correct way, but it seems so many that frequent my store are incapable of civil behavior or conversation.

   Posted 1 year ago #

10. stranger
    

    Member
    

    Internets:436

     

    "Are you sure?"

    Gosh, let me think about that for a minute.

    Posted 1 year ago #

11. LatteLezzz
    

    Member
    

    Internets:90

     

    If you're in DT, we have whatever coffee you want brewed. half hour before we close? have any of that blondey coffee? yep! bold? of course! I love Italian roast...oh yeah thats what we have!

    Cause with 6 splendas and cream, you don't **** know the difference...

    Posted 1 year ago #

12. thegreenlobster
    

    Member
    

    Internets:417

     

    I hate when they make sure of something at the window the most. "It IS skinny, right?" over adding phantom modifiers.

    "No it's not skinny I don't know how to read" of course it's skinny if it says skinny b1tch.

    But in the case of adding phantom modifiers or any other questions, the answer is always YES. It has been since day one when I was new and still is. I never thought to say otherwise. I always just said yes because I thought we wanted to get DT people through as fast as possible.

    Posted 1 year ago #

13. justsaydecaf
    

    Member
    

    Internets:71

     

    Is the coffee fresh?

    ... :) yes, of course.. Always

    Posted 1 year ago #

14. DoubleShotLove
    

    Member
    

    Internets:13

     

    i almost always 'accidentally' put whole milk in things when dumb girls ask for things "extra skinny"
    **** what the hell is "extra skinny"

    "oh, can i get my chai skinny?"
    ...no.

    Posted 1 year ago #

15. crucial_buzz
    

    Member
    

    Internets:313

     

    If you want it skinny, don't order the damn syrupy loaded drinks!

    I used to love the women who would wink at me when I asked "want whip cream on that?" and they'd say "no.... I definitely don't need those calories!". You just ordered a large (don't get me started on starbucks size speak) raspberry mocha from me and you're worried about the calories from the whip? Your drink has well over 80 grams of sugar darling. You would have done better for your diet if you ordered a regular latte and splurged with whip instead of foam.

    Back on topic: I don't even understand why starbucks has drive thru's. It baffles me. And honestly, I will never use one. Ever. And my coffees aren't complicated "3.75 shots of 'expresso' in a venti peppermint mocha stirred clockwise 4 times with half soy and half 'regular' milk" monstrosities.

    Posted 1 year ago #

16. ScowlingSiren
    

    Member
    

    Internets:38

     

    Ha, guilty. If it's not crazy busy and the customer isn't being a complete jackwagon I'll remake it to their liking, but if there are fifteen drinks queued up and they're bleating a nasal, "This is a mocha LIIIIGHT frappuccino, riiiight?" the answer's gonna be "Sure." Sure, it's light! It's soy! It's made with magical carb-burning espresso beans! Now get the F away from the handoff station!

    Posted 1 year ago #

17. STAG★
    

    Member
    

    Internets:1,270

     

    this is entirely the best thing i've ever read.

    like alright your beverage is whatever the **** you imagine it to be. 180 degrees? sure! nonfat? absolutely!

    but the worst is when people come up to the window like "oh, i wanted it iced."
    did you, now? that's nice. maybe next time you could tell us before it's made.

    Posted 1 year ago #

18. Shinanigans004
    

    Member
    

    Internets:2

     

    huge festival going next to the store. Theres 50 people in the store and two partners, and i cant hear myself think. im yelling ORANGE MANGO SMOOTHIE for 5 minutes and some guy comes up. "that was so fast, did somebody leave this drink here?" Me- "Nope! just made that for you sir, im that good."

    Posted 1 year ago #

19. DoubleShotLove
    

    Member
    

    Internets:13

     

    I legit 'forget' to use nonfat milk all the time is frappuccino lights. no one ever asks...

    Is this a MFL?
    yep.

    Posted 1 year ago #

20. JavaChap
    

    Member
    

    Internets:314

     

    i forget the frap light syrup sometimes.

    when i realize, usually while the drink is blending or i'm pouring it, i give no fuxks.

    Posted 1 year ago #

21. lulu
    

    Member
    

    Internets:207

     

    Today a woman came to handoff with the, "But I wanted this iced," regarding a CM. I looked her dead in the eye and said, "Did you ASK for iced?" She sputtered and stammered while I smiled at her and then whined, "But I can't DRIIIIIINK it hot!" I nicely told her to be sure to let us know at the speaker next time and got her drink remade. She wouldn't even look at me as I overly cheerfully handed it to her...its a good thing I was in a good mood today cause yesterday she might have worn it. ;-)

    Posted 1 year ago #

22. sublimeculture
    

    Member
    

    Internets:21

     

    "This IS decaf right?"
    "Yup."

    "Did you stir it?"
    "Of course."

    "Sugar free?"
    "Definitely."

    "180 degrees?"
    "Yup, it is."
    "It doesn't feel like it."
    "I'e had it made for a while now; the customer in front of you was just being a bast*rd."

    Posted 11 months ago #

23. annabelle
    

    Member
    

    Internets:352

     

    Large obnoxious dude: "GIVE ME the FRESHEST COFFEE YOU HAVE! GRANDE in a VENTI CUP!"

    Me: "Sure, no problem! $2.13"

    Large obnoxious dude: *hands over money*
    *muttering* "why do I have to pay some god**mn much for a cup of coffee"
    *screams* "Why is that light blinking on the coffee brewer?"

    Me: "Oh that just means it just finished brewing! Fresh as can be!" *big smile*

    Posted 11 months ago #

24. ketchup
    

    Member
    

    Internets:311

     

    $2.13? thats a weird number what are your prices?

    Posted 11 months ago #

25. annabelle
    

    Member
    

    Internets:352

     

    I don't remember without tax, but a tall coffee is 1.80, grande 2.13 and a venti is 2.46

    Posted 11 months ago #

26. Vaneera-rattay
    

    Member
    

    Internets:550

     

    Those are weird numbers! Ours are all purposely rounded so we hardly ever use pennies. $1.65, $1.95 and $2.25.

    But yes, lie, lie, LIE! No one has ever caught me in a lie yet. If something is wrong, you can often just cheerfully take the drink back for a bit, exchange the lid and hand it back "fixed." I often forget to use light base in light fraps. I use sweet n low when I'm out of splenda and I often 2% everything regardless of requests. At my store, if someone draws a happy face on a cup, it signifies to the partner on bar to purposely ruin the drink because that customer is a d*ck. Send me to SBux hell.

    There are a few special customers I'm always honest with and always make their drinks correctly. These are the nice people who have empathy for us and are not at all snooty.

    Posted 11 months ago #

27. trentasquatch
    

    Member
    

    Internets:32

     

    Ha, ours are 1.79, 2.12, and 2.45!

    Posted 11 months ago #

28. AZpartner
    

    Member
    

    Internets:100

     

    @Annabelle - ours are exactly the same for tall and grande, but venti is $2.45. Must be the same tax rate.

    Posted 11 months ago #

29. trentabetch
    

    Member
    

    Internets:113

     

    Weird mines 176 207 and 241
    I just say yes to whatever they ask. Get out of my dt :)

    Posted 11 months ago #

30. Suckbuck
    

    Member
    

    Internets:212

     

    White lies...of course...I don't know how the heck will I ever manage working at Starbucks without lying to those customers :p
    p.s. our store has tall coffee at the price of $1.94 with tax included so higher than you guys...perhaps bcz its in Canada...so gosh do I have to listen to customers ranting about how expensive our coffee is...so annoying...

    Posted 11 months ago #

RSS feed for this topic

Reply »

You must log in to post.