I had this one dbag of a person who always gets a venti soy light water americano (almost to the point where it's a quad venti soy latte) and the guy asks me if he can get one more shot added. I explain I would need to charge him for it and his smug response was "Well I'm a GOLD card member". My response to that without missing a beat was "Welcome to the exclusive club called 'Everyone'."
What kind of snarky comments/comebacks have you "accidentally" told a customer?
(173 posts) (115 voices)-
Posted 10 months ago #
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"[coworker] NEVER has a problem doing this!"
"Uh well that's nice. I do."
Cue OKAY WELL I'LL SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!28^[*}^{*+]*{^}^<£|¥¥\Posted 10 months ago # -
I've accidentally said, after someone rolled off an extensive several drink highly modified frappuccino order, "um, and the sizes are...??" in a very snarky tone. although, i probably should have said worse because i couldn't mark any of the cups until she finally decided she needed two ventis and three talls, no wait grandes (after i started marking the tall cups)
Posted 10 months ago # -
"How are you?"
"Have a nice day!"
Posted 10 months ago # -
Yesterday i put down and called out a decaf grande extra hot soy vanilla no foam latte(already annoyed from making it) and lady who's been standing there since i started steaming, and the only customer besides one person looks at me confused, grabs the drink, reads the code, then the conversation begins..
"Is this my drink?"
"idk ma'am did you order [a decaf grande extra hot soy vanilla no foam latte]?"
"im not sure, i think so?...hayley, is this what i got?"
"....."
"So is this my drink or not?"
"IDK you ordered it not me, i don't know what your order is"
*takes drink
"ugh... well if its not ill just bring it back..."the joy of working in silicon valley
Posted 10 months ago # -
"Can you make my drink quick? My flight is boarding right now!"
"Same as all the customers in front of you."
Posted 10 months ago # -
^ Yeah I really don't know how you handle the airport, I'd want to stab all the business pricks who want to skip the line and be pretentious. But kudos to you for leading the charge.
As for me... (these are all at the handoff plane because that's where all the obnoxiousness really starts happening...):
"This drink wasn't made right."
"No, you're wrong, I made it exactly to recipe." (I don't **** around with these types of people)"Can I have some, like, ice water?"
"Sure! It'll join the back of the line behind the paying customers.""Can I have umm that caramel sauce?"
"That's actually sixty extra cents, I'm going to ask you to return to the line so that you can be charged properly."Posted 10 months ago # -
Before I moved I had two jobs; the first a 9-5 office job & the second a closing shift at Starbucks right after my first job. I changed into my uniform in the store's bathroom all the time & we had two. It never took more than 5 minutes, if that. One day when I was almost finished getting ready for my shift someone violently yanks on the handle of the bathroom & keeps trying to open it (which I will never understand). I didn't say, "Just a minute!" until the wench decided to actually knock on the door like a civilized person. Anyway, I soon found out she was on her cell but while I was finishing up I kept hearing her audibly complaining outside the door about someone taking FOREVER in the bathroom. She also thought it necessary to yank on the handle a few more times for emphasis. By the time I was done she had been waiting no more than a whole minute since her first handle jerk. I was irate at that point because I cannot stand people who have total disregard for manners or personal privacy. I open the door & the **** immediately grabs the door & decides to "help" me out. While I was passing her I heard her say, "It's about time." In my head: OH NO SHE DID NOT! In situations like this my mouth tends to take over for my brain. So I whipped around & glared at her before the door was closed to say, "Oh I'm sorry you have to wait like everyone else!" The look on her face was pretty priceless honestly. She was some middle-aged uppity slore who probably thinks of baristas as her personal servants.
Anyway, she followed me as I walked through the lobby to go to the back room.
SheSatan: "Um EXCUSE ME, what did you just say to me?!"
Me: "Oh I was just saying that I am so sorry that you had to wait to use the bathroom like every other person. I could hear you griping outside the door while I was trying to change."
SheSatan: "*gasp* No, I was just on my phone! That is so rude!"
Me: "Whatever. I have work, so I'm going to go now."She kept on with the loud-mouthed bitching while I was walking away. I was pretty **** & she was pretty intent on talking with my SS, which she did. I wasn't clocked in yet, so I didn't care. But I made sure to give her a big smile when I came out on the floor with my apron on. I told my SS what happened & he thought it was pretty funny.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Lol about the gold card...last week I had someone in DT proudly announce at the end of their order, "I have a gold card!!" I thought I pressed the button to speak privately to my dt partner and said sarcastically, "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE!" Alas, I actually had pressed the button to speak at the dt box. Needless to say the customer was kinda ****. Lol. (We thought it was funny)
Posted 10 months ago # -
A couple of weeks ago a customer came in and had some discount code and her drink ended up costing less than a dollar. Feeling pretty pleased with herself, she was like "Hehehehe how often is it that you can get Starbucks for under a dollar?!?!"
I said, with only the slightest trace of sass, "...every day." It might have come out a little sassier than I intended though.
Posted 10 months ago # -
I've only been working at Starbucks for about 2 months or so, but one customer in particular I rembember quite well.
-insert annoyingly long overly complicated order here.-
-with soy.-Okay, your total is blahblahblah.
-swipes card.-Customer: ummm, did you charge me for the soy?
Me: Well, yes. You ordered it. I have to.
Customer: -slight chuckle- no you didn't.
Me: You ordered it, so unless you don't want it... I have to charge you for it.
Customer: I ain't never been charged for soy before! You don't -HAVE- to do anything.
Okay.. here's your receipt. With soy. It will be ready over at the bar.Are you kidding me? If you don't want to pay for something, DON'T GET IT.
Posted 10 months ago # -
"Hi, what can I get for you today?"
"Winning lottery numbers"
"If I had those, sir, I'd buy a ticket for me first."
He got a good chuckle and left a tip."Hi, good morning-"
"Grande soy latte"
*I will refer to them by their drink for the rest of the transaction*
"Anything else, grande soy latte?", "Well grande soy latte, your total is ____.""Hey miss, how-"
"Tall caramel light frappuccino, extra caramel. And no whip cream!"
*treat them like a stuck up old biddy for the rest of the transaction, especially hilarious with stuck up 20 somethings*
"Of course, ma'am", "Ma'am, would you like anything else?", "Hey partner, can you warm a pastry for the old lady over there?"*beech orders a grande mocha cookie crumble frappuccino with caramel drizzle*
(snooty voice) "Did you really just charge me for caramel drizzle?"
(snooty voice) "Did you really want it in your drink?"
*beech backs away*Posted 10 months ago # -
Talldirtychai, I want to be you. Migod, if I said any of this to my customers, I think my SM would fire me.
Posted 10 months ago # -
"Is this my drink?"
"I don't know. o.O" // "Sure." // "Yep! (It wasn't their drink)""Can you like, make my drink faster? Like, make it next?"
"I can make your drink after every other paying customer's drink before your's.""Can you like, put extra extra caramel? MAKE SURE IT'S EXTRA."
"SURE. *dumps 1/2 bottle in the drink*"
"I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS MUCH CARAMEL!"
"This is what you ordered, so order it correctly next time. :) (Hint: Don't be a ****.)""HAVE YOU MADE MY DRINK YET?"
"...Do you see a drink somewhere?"Posted 10 months ago # -
"Do you walk into a Burger King, cut the line, and ask the person flipping burgers for a cup of iced water? Seriously, you gotta join that line of PAYING customers and wait for your FREE cup of iced water like everybody else."
I used this quip just today. I was totally not happy on bar.
Posted 10 months ago # -
@tripleristretto I am actually pretty polite and friendly to most customers, but I think the key to getting away with it with those wretched few is to do everything confidently. Remember, they are in your store, on *your* turf. Actually, I've worked with a few partners who make my remarks seem like butkissing by comparison.
Posted 10 months ago # -
@ Dry Sharpie - I give comments like that to the free water "customers" all the time. Ice water? Sure! No problem! It'll be as soon as I finish with these drinks before you. or Sure! You just have to let the barista at the register know so we can ring it up. I get my little satisfaction out of doing that, and it keeps all the people waiting at the bar happy...ish.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Ahaha, I had one today because of the free hot tall coffee promotion.
"Why is the hot coffee free today?"
"Because we hate the British, obviously." (with flippant tone)It was right before closing, so I was already mentally clocked out and forgot that I was still serving paying customers. I'm lucky the customer had a sense of humor and had a good, hearty laugh about it.
Posted 10 months ago # -
And heh, not happy on bar today? How was 4th of July for your store?
Posted 10 months ago # -
"Caramel machiatto. Quad shot, with soy, no foam, and extra caramel. And two extra pumps vanilla."
*I nod and stare at the customer*
*customer stares, seconds go by*
"So, what size?"
"A venti" (or whatever)
"Okay! *big smile* So that was a venti what again?"*a semi-regular comes in with other guys dressed in suits to get coffee before work - I already dislike him because he always answers hello or good morning with "Refill" and hands you his cup, and I decided to speak up that day, while his friends/colleagues watched*
"A refill? Okay. I am going to charge your gold card for a refill today, even though this is the first cup of coffee you're getting, and you know you're clearly gaming the policy. Here is your free cup of coffee. Thank you!"Posted 10 months ago # -
Haha, I ALMOST did this in the drive thru today.
"Hello, wlecome to xyz Starbucks, happy 4th of July!(I like working drive, so I generally have fun with the welcomes)."
"Hi, are you guys open?"
Two other partners with headsets on literally just started DYING laughing, and if it weren't for the fact my SM was there, I probably would've said no. lol what did he expect???
Posted 10 months ago # -
Oh man, I remember DT... The best times I had were finding what a customer's "ticks" were and replying back with them. Like squeaky-girl-voice 'Uh-huh!!' and deep-voiced-black-man 'Yeeeeeeeea'.'
That, or a pirate voice. Just point at the other guy.
Posted 10 months ago # -
I have totally lost patience with the customers who just point to things. I straight up say "use your big girl/big boy words, what do you want?"...usually they are so shocked they don't complain.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Today I told a guy I didn't know what he meant cause men don't know how to communicate :X
Posted 10 months ago # -
Whenever someone refuses to tell me their order, instead pointing at the person on bar and saying "SHE knows it," I tell them "Well, I don't know it and the computer doesn't know it, so you'll need to tell me."
Posted 10 months ago # -
I slipped up the other day when I was in the Drive-thru.
Customer: Can I get a vanilla latte
Me: What size?
Customer: Oh can I get that iced?
Me, deep breath: What size?
Customer: And I need a *insert sandwich name here that I forget*
Me, annoyed at this point cause my DTB can't start the drink yet: Ma'am what size on your latte?!?
Customer: I almost forgot make it skinny.
Me: I'm not making it anything till you tell me what size.Fortunately she was a pretty good sport about it.
Posted 10 months ago # -
every time a customer brags, "we're here until the end of the month!" i do this finger wag and go "whoopty dooooooo! i live here!!" they don't find it nearly as funny as i do.
"what can i get for a dollar?"
"a cup of water."
"seriously? that's it?"
"or you can leave. your choice.""i don't know how much i have left on this..."
"well neither do i. do you want me to swipe it?"i apparently said this with a little too much sass, but a girl ordered a grande passion tea lemonade and grabbed one of my regulars trenta green iced tea refill (he had stepped outside for a second). so when he came back i realized what happened; she took the wrong drink (surprise surprise!). so i went outside and saw her sitting and grimacing while she sipped out of his used cup and i said "hey, girl, that's not your drink. that's someone's used cup. your drink is sitting here." she looked SUPER shocked and ran inside apologizing and i said, "hey, come close, listen up. for future reference, passion tea is pink. green tea is green. unless you're colorblind it's really not that hard."
a guy stormed in and walked immediately to the hand off plane and said something to my bar barista. i shouted over "hey, you can order over here!" and he shouted back "WELL I'M NOT ORDERING ANYTHING SO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS." i shrugged and let him stand there. i guess she hadn't heard what he asked her so he stormed up to the register and said, "well i GUESS i'll ORDER then.... i want a cup of water." so i mark the cup, ring it up, and let him know it'll be ready at the hand off plane.
"you're not going to make it for me?"
"um, no. there's a queue of cups."
"what? are you handicapped or something?"
"yes, sir. i am physically handicapped. that's exactly why i'm not going to make your iced water."Posted 10 months ago # -
@talldirtychai: LOL i would love to work with you someday. you & splashofsoy. freaking hilarious
Posted 10 months ago # -
@splashofsoy haha oh man, that last one makes me laugh as im sure that happens to everyone, well i know myself.. lady walks to handoff counter, straight from outside, sees there a line and asks for a water, i say sure but i need to get through my drinks first, she sighs and ask why i cant just make it real quick, i tell her, shes not the only customer i have, in fact, not really a customer and she has to wait, so he did, while giving me the stink eye and no thank you!
Posted 10 months ago # -
@splashofsoy - I love the last one. Reminds me that I should really look into getting my 'handicaps' officially documented just to prove that I'm still functioning, so they can, too, haha.
Posted 10 months ago #
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