I've been lurking this site for my own kicks and giggles for a few weeks but finally decided to join. A few days ago I read this thread before going to work to close. Twenty minutes till this little old woman, her husband, and granddaughter come in. None of them really get complicated drinks. But the old woman is the only one who complains. She got a tall (but in a grande cup!!) coconut chocolate cream frappuccino with extra ice and double blended - thiiiick, she wanted it thick. I make just that but before even drinking it, she squeezes it and says it isn't thick enough. I smile and apologize, willing to remake her drink. I do everything the same except I add even more extra ice than before. The second one was thick enough from her squeeze test. But not five minutes after she took it and sat down, she came back with another complaint. Apparently there was a few chunks of ice in it. My shift was making some lattes and I was working on frappuccinos so I had my back to her, but when she insisted it wasn't double blended I snapped around and without missing a beat, said with a large amount of snark that it was. My shift had her write the drink down and watch every single move (all of the same exact moves I did) and was finally content. She didn't like my mild snapping, so proceeded to ask for my name (even wanted my last name but my shift swore she had no idea what it was) and that I had a "bad attitude".
What kind of snarky comments/comebacks have you "accidentally" told a customer?
(173 posts) (115 voices)-
Posted 10 months ago #
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Customer: "Uhhhh, what do you call your medium size?"
Me: "Grande, but we will accept medium as well."I'm sick of people asking what we call the sizes. I speak english too darnit!
Posted 9 months ago # -
ohhh this. ****. ****.
she mustve been, one of those people who gets off to being an annoying ****.
dt greeting.
she straight up, shortens my name. **** you.
she then, after asking how i am, proceeds to not say a thing. i have to prompt her with "what can i get for you?". again. **** you.
she orders her **** beverages i go make them then go to hand them out, she asks me,
"have you tried these?"
"yep."
"do you like them?"
"theyre alright."
"theyre our favourite."
"yeah. theyre a lot of peoples' favourite. ... i mean theyre popular."
she proceeds to give me this dead-**** cow stare while she **** eats popcorn.
"ok. have a good night."
like **** right off. sorry you stupid **** i'd love to play 20 questions all **** night but ive got **** to do, which is infinitely more appealing then sitting around trying to find out just how much of a **** you are.her tone the entire time was "i'm an antagonising hoe." like get a **** hobby you toilet scum.
shutting the window without letting her respond was probably the snarkiest thing, plus the whole favourite thing. it took a lot to not slam it. not that it's a lot, but i didnt want to give this **** the satisfaction.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Well I'll start off by saying I work at a drive through store..
Lady: *yelling* (can't understand a word)
Me: "Ma'am! Ma'am! Ma'am, you don't have to yell! I can hear you if you use your inside voice. Think of drive thru's as you speaking into a microphone. I can hear everything you're saying, except when you yell, then it gets fuzzy."
Lady: "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."
*Every other partner on the headsets in the store start cracking up and were asking if I really said that to her or just to the other partners* (incase you aren't familiar, you can turn off the feed to the outside and talk to partners inside without customers knowing)
Me: "It's alright just speak normally, if we can't hear you we will ask you to speak up."
Lady: "Okay, I'm really sorry. *rattles off order*"*Lady drives to the window*
Lady: "I'm so so so so sorry."
Posted 9 months ago # -
^ lol I did the opposite my first time takin an order. I think I scared the poor customer.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Customer: I'd like a tall nonfat vanilla latte, please.
Me: Iced or hot?
Customer: Uh, hot. It's a latte. Lattes aren't cold. I'm a gold card customer so I know what I'm talking about.
Me: I'm sure you do, but the real question here is who works for Starbucks and who doesn't? It was a genuine question. We serve iced lattes in addition to hot lattes.She didn't catch me on a good day.
Posted 9 months ago # -
lol I love the 'I'm a gold card member'.. yeah you and half the other customers. We have one customer who keeps giving me her empty registered card in attempt to get the syrups/soy off and we have to keep repeating that you have to PAY with the card in order to get it free, it isn't some ID badge that gets you into the inner circle. Though I do love the customers who hand me their gold card like its some shifty secret evidence. good for you.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Oh the goldcard customer.
I had a lady make me go through all the hot teas we have, and then ask me what they taste like, then took forever to decided, after she gets it, she heads to the creamer bar, picks up the half and half, stares at it for a few minutes and then asks "do I put cream in this" to which I blurted out " I don't know, do you?"
Posted 9 months ago # -
"Thick" Frappuccino people drive me up a wall. It's like, hello, what do you think happens when you slam extra extra ice into a blender that isn't made to blend that quantity? IT DOESN'T BLEND AND BREAKS. I tell them that, too. The 'break' part seems to shut them up.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Not me but a coworker did this..
Lady very condescendingly says "do you know how to make a starbucks double shot?"
Coworker "well, since I work at starbucks I'd say I probably do"
Lady dropped her attitude right then and there.
Needless to say, that was a hellish morning for her to snap like that...and my first morning shift ever haha
Posted 9 months ago # -
Had another one today.
Customer: Alright, I want a Venti Frappucino Mocha with no whip, hot.
Me: Uh, so you just want a Venti Mocha, correct?
Customer: NO! I said Frappucino.
Me: We can't make a hot Frappucino, ma'am. We can make you a hot mocha, though.
Customer: Why?
Me: Well, I'm assuming that a blended iced beverage isn't going going to bode well if I attempt to make it hot.
Customer: Oh.. okay them. I'll just have a mocha whatever it's called then.*mind blown*
Posted 9 months ago # -
Had a guy order a quad grande with room Americano and he came back two minutes later asking for TWO EXTRA SHOTS because it was "too watery." The other partner on the floor pulled him his shots, and I went back to my till to ring through a dopio for his shots, and he just walked away. Cheeky ****. I sort of muttered under my breath "d'you wanna come and pay for that?"
Also had a woman pay for a tall GTL and insist that she'd ordered a venti when it came to her on the bar. All my snides tend to be once a customer's out of hearing range, I suppose.
Last but not least, "Is this my tall nonfat sugar free caramel pike coffee misto?" "Did yo have that made into a venti iced black tea lemonade?" "no" "then it most likely is not."Posted 9 months ago # -
I put less base in for those special thick frappuccino crustomers. :D
I actually had the iced hot chocolate one a few days ago. Ended up making the guy a creme based MF, because he was too terrified to tell his wife she was a moron.
Probably one of the stupidest things I get is one of our regulars who always tells us to make her Americano good. Like, seriously? It's not that friggin hard to put water and shots in a cup, though she swears up and down that somehow the ones of us that she likes magically make it better....
Posted 9 months ago # -
people often ask "do you have turtles?" (a drink at a local coffeeshop in my town). once i got fed up and said "yeah, there's usually some out in the ditch by the road"
Posted 9 months ago # -
I really don't care about customers' precious iced waters anymore. At least a few times today during the Treat Receipt rush I would be in the middle of making about 3 drinks, hand one off, & then have the person with said drink to tell me, "Oh I had an iced water too." And while eying the water cup RIGHT THERE in front of me, not mattering that I had just cleared several drinks from in front of their **** water. O_O
My response: "Sorry but I only have TWO ARMS so just sit tight!"Posted 9 months ago # -
Someone grabbed the wrong drink from the hand off counter. How you mix up a venti frap and a grande CLR, I don't even know, but since I already had to remake the CLR, I decided to be shifty and moved the frap behind the counter in case he came back... which he did about 10 minutes later.
He butted in front of the line and said 'You messed this up, I ordered a caramel frappuccino'. Yay vengeance. I grabbed the now slightly sloppy drink and may have been slightly snarky as a said 'Yeah, you grabbed someone else's drink. Here this was waiting for you'
Posted 9 months ago # -
Customer: "Can I have an iced caramel apple spice?"
Me: "You COULD, but I wouldn't recommend it."LOL. I don't know why I said that, I was really flip about it, too.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Hey, iced CAS is actually pretty good. D:
Posted 9 months ago # -
Them: "I only have a 20..."
Me: "That's alright, Starbucks loves your money!"Them: "How much is on this card?" *holds it out to me*
Me: *Stares at it* ...No idea!OR
Them: "I have no idea what's on this card..."
Me: "Oh, me neither!"Posted 9 months ago # -
Customer: I will have CLR
SuckBuck: What size you would like?
Customer: that free size
SuckBuck: ?
Customer: I meant Tall
SuckBuck: That would be $3.25
Customer: Isn't it free?
Suckbuck: Free? Noooooo
Customer: I thought you guys are giving free tall refreshers
SuckBuck: We...were...don't you think you're little late? Refreshers were offered free last month! How would you like to pay, Sir...Dumb customers!!!
Posted 9 months ago # -
When a customer tells me they don't know how much is on their card as they hand it to me, as I swipe it I tell them "let's play Russian Roulette!"
Posted 9 months ago # -
I make an iced grande mocha, place it on the hand out bar, and call it out. After it sits there I call it out again very loudly. It just sits there. I call it out a third time and nobody claims it. So I just let it sit there. A girl sitting in the corner takes out her headphones, storms up to the hand off and asks if it's her drink.
Me: Did you order an iced grande mocha and is your name jasmine?
Her: Yes
Me: That's your drink then.
Her: I thought you guys would let me know when it's finished!
Me: I can make your drink for you, I can call it out for you, but I CAN'T pay attention for you, that one you have to do yourself.She gave me a **** look and stormed off. I will say, the next ten or so people waiting for their drinks were very attentive and responsive when their drinks were called. LOL it was like they didn't want to **** me off.
Posted 9 months ago # -
A guy got all confused at the handoff plane the other day.
He goes "hah, hah, must have been a blonde in a previous life!11!"
Me: "Yeah well, I guess it sucks for me then. You know, because I'm blonde now." --and gestured to my hair.He looked at me uncomfortably and left.
Posted 9 months ago # -
A fun one, this was about a month before the treat receipt started.
Setting: Drive Thru
Time: About 5 pm.This woman drives up, asking for two drinks, what they were are irrelevant, then she proceeds to ask me a question, which I could not make out due to some anomaly in the mic and the headsets. She pulls up to the window, tell her the total, she begins arguing with me about the $2 after 2pm deal, which at the time I knew nothing about, which I explain that we have no promotions like that going on right now, so she asks to speak to a manager, who was on a lunch at the time and not in the store. She then goes "The only reason I came here was for the $2 deal, can't you just give me a drink free?" Now, I'm almost a year with Starbucks and generally a nice guy, but I do not enjoy using idiocy as an excuse. I blatantly say to her "I'm sorry that you thought we were having a promotion going on, even though there are no advertisements about it anywhere in or around the store. I am not going to give you a free drink because of it, and you can either pay your $X for your drinks, or you can leave." She ended up paying full price and said she'd call the store to complain. She never did.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Welllll, not a verbal comeback, but a few months ago I got sent home after some 12 year old made me remake her venti caramel frappucino 3 times (AT 8 AM DURING A RUSH) because it "didn't have enough caramel all over the cup". I opened the now half-full bottle and emptied it out, turning it around so it literally caked the cup with diabetes. Handed it off without even giving a shxt.
"Is that enough caramel for you?"
Stupid h0 didn't even know what to say... but my shift was real mad. :3c
Posted 9 months ago # -
@diabetes fairy...i love that.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Ok. Full disclosure, I don't work at starbucks. However, I've read soooo many of these hilarious posts and love them. But I don't know what a "rinse shot" or "dead shot" is. If some one could answer that for me, that'd be so cool. Sorry for being off topic!
Posted 9 months ago # -
Oh its quite simple...a rinse shot is where we rinse off the shot glasses before you make the drink so nothing from the previous drink gets in there to mess it up. And a dead shot is just pouring the shot directly into the cup instead using the shot glasses first. It makes for a slightly less bitter shot.
Posted 9 months ago # -
When customers don't say thank you after being served, which really annoys the **** out of me, I used to (up until they tried to write me up for it) walk down the length of the bar/till to the condiment stands, where they usually are hanging out pouring part of their coffee down the garbage (does it look like a f***ing drain?!), saying "Thank you" repeatedly getting progressively louder with a huge smile on my face waving frantically until they either fled in complete embarrassment or got the point and said thanks. My manager asked that if I thought it was rude, my reply was "no, it's not like I am saying f*** you, which I probably should be saying"
Posted 8 months ago # -
Today, I had some crazy ask me verbatum 'If you were a starbucks drink which one would you be? I just want to get you' (note this is over Drive Thru)
So I decided I was an 8 shot americano with whipped cream. That shut him up.
Posted 8 months ago #
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