Granted! Now there is a bicycle-powered friction generator they must pedal in order to charge their smartphones. But that makes them really thirsty, and they order lots of weirdly modified refreshers.
I wish our district hadn't cracked down on partners eating markouts. (Protein plate in the trash = sads!)
Granted, now you have to eat every single expired pastry and RTDE tem every single close in one sitting, while Howard sits in the shadows and videotapes.
Somehow, I wish we could close up shop so everyone can get their halves in at the same time so I don't have to **** around the second half of the morning.
Granted, now you and your comrades will spend your half locked in the cafe with whatever creepy morning regs are in there when you close up.
^ lol no wish?
Nope. The bux has stolen any boyish wonder and idealism from me. I no longer have the ability.
Buttttt, for the sake of the game, I wish my customers never again asked me how much something is that is clearly marked on a menu board or tag.
Granted, but they'll start asking you what goes into a drink and how many pumps of syrup goes into each size.
I wish we can close the store at 3 p.m everyday.
Granted, but the store opens at midnight now.
I wish shifts followed proper deployment, meaning that partners aren't kept on the same station more than 30 minutes when it's busy or more than an hour when it's slow.
Granted, but now you will rotate through your worst partners on bar during all rushes and then you have to clean up after them during the lulls.
I wish that we had equipment that worked rather than a broken espresso machine, bar fridge and blender all at the same time.
Granted, but they are all run by Skynet.
I wish Uncle Howie would read this forum and discover exactly what it's like to be an employee of his.
Granted, but now he wants to be roommates to really get a feel for it.
I wish oatmeal would go away.
Granted, but now everybody that used to order oatmeal orders a bagel double toasted.
I wish we had La Marzocos back
Granted, but somehow your plumbing is messed up and your restrooms are throwin' their joy right back into the water. Enjoy your sewage lattes! :)
I wish we were paid a decent living wage.
Granted, but now you must live in the Starbucks approved housing located on the premises, where you must be available 24 hours a day since your store is now open at all times.
I wish I could charge extra to people who want teas with no water & easy ice.
Granted, but now teas are measured by fluid ml and are priced accordingly, like a deli. And new partner dress code requires plastic hairnets and that vague fishy smell, like a deli.
I wish managers would stop whining about not getting tips anymore. Guy, you make double what i do.
Granted, but now your managers get to dangle the tips over your head and make you beg for it.
I wish I didn't have to tuck my f'ing shirt in.
Granted, but now you have to tuck your apron in.
I wish i wasn't woken up every morning by panicky shifts asking me to come in early or stay late.
Granted, but now you're woken up by panicky customers who were given your phone number by your shifts, who now pop xanax like they're tictacs.
I wish customers would learn how to say the freaking sizes correctly!
Granted. But they'll start giving the drinks weird names.
I wish we have magic and make everything clean itself and stock stuff up itself.
Granted. But now that you are so efficient, you have to run the floor alone from 6pm - close.
I wish that there were no more gold cards.
Granted, but now Starbuck's launches a new customer care program where we have to dote on every customer to make them feel like special little snow flakes instead of them deriving that false feeling from a piece of plastic. Hope you're ready to kiss some butt and provide umbrella escorts, etc.
I wish Starbucks didn't over roast and provided freshly roasted beans.
Granted, but now the beans don't taste uniform and customers complain that it doesn't taste the same as it does at "their store."
I wish we could shut down cold bar during winter.
Granted, but then you'll get complaints from customers that want cold drinks amd customers asking for extra mod on the hot drinks.
I wish we just sell brewed coffee and nothing else.
Granted, but the coffee you now brew is home roasted and must be ground / brewed to the cup. Meanwhile, as you're pouring the (organic, free trade, holy) water used to make your coffee into the funnel of freshly ground beans FOR EVERY SINGLE CUP, you're still expected to provide quick service within three minutes.
I wish were allowed to have piercings and tattoos.
Granted, but you must get a tattoo of Lovely Howard's face on your forearm, and all the body jewelry must be Starbucks green.
I wish I could punch every customer that says frappAY. Grr.
Granted, but now those customers are all highly trained martial artists and may punch back.
I wish we could get local, more delicious pastries for our stores.
Granted. Now you have to be in at 3am every morning to bake your store's local, delicious pastries.
I wish we stopped serving blonde roast.
Granted, but not we serve decaf in two roasts, all day.
I wish all my partners would learn how to mark cups and do their jobs efficiently.
Granted, and now they do so the customers are going to expect exceptional services at all times and no tip.
I wish we can close on all the statutory holidays.
Granted, but now Howie creates extra days of the year to make up for the days off. This new half month will be called Schultztober and we will be paid half time, and no tips.
I wish customers magically became self aware and actually put in an effort to be more than mouthbreathing, entitled, kool-aid drinking dbags.
Granted. They are now highly-educated, snobby and condescendingly polite and have the right to challenge any barista to a public debate and if they win they get free coffee for a year.
I wish my SM would stop putting our slowest and most obnoxious partner on DT during the morning rush :(
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