subtle ways to annoy the sbux customers

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subtle ways to annoy the sbux customers

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Started 5 years ago by EXslavetostarbucks
Latest reply from CustomersSuckAtSbux

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EXslavetostarbucks

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I worked for Starbucks for six years. I recently quit as I found what I call a proper job. So I am passing on my own personal favourites to **** off customers in the most subtle way. These have all been tried and tested by me.

1] When customers throw there money on the counter at you I used to pick up each coin as slow as possible to get the best reaction from the customer this must be done when the store is at its busiest or there in a rush to get out of the store.

2] When customers are on there cell phones ask them as many questions as humanly possible. Act like you just started working at starbucks

3] make em decaff this one is an all time favourite of mine.

4}Another cell phone one. When they come in yapping on there phone just go on to the next customer this really gets them irate. When the yapper on the phone asks why you didnt take there order simply say I DIDNT WANT TO INTERUPT YOUR OTHER CONVERSATION IN YOURE SWEETEST STARBUCKS VOICE. This one really works and will make you feel good for the rest of the day.

I all so did my own test one day at work to see how many people actually aknowledge you standing behind the counter> So i decided not to say anything to them no hello,what can I get for you today Nothing and I did this for the best part of 4 hours and no one even noticed. You can leave starbucks and find a better job trust me I did it. And so can you.

have a good day tomorow at work and keep on pissing the customers off

Posted 5 years ago #
1023652

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exslavetostarbuc- i too have worked there for 6 years, but i haven't escaped yet. i think your ways to **** off customers are great. i've done that **** to customers too. just wanted to tell you some of my favorites.

1) when someone orders a "caramel cappuucino", give them one. and then when they ask you why it's not cold, tell them sorry, and make them an iced caramel latte, and then when they ask you why it's not blended, say " oh! you wanted a FRAPPUCCINO?" by this point they will be irritated, but they will realize that it's their fault and they'll feel stupid. (hopefully)

2)i hate giving people sleeves for cold drinks. we have a tray of sleves by the handoff that is in the customers view, but on our side of the bar. we also have one on the condiment bar. so when a customer asks me for a sleeve for a cold cup, i point to the condiment bar and tell them "they're over there". it's really funny watching their reactions when they can see that my hand is like 2 inches away from the tray of sleeves.

3)when it's really busy, and someone comes to the bar and asks for water, but they didn't order anything, i tell them to get in line and then i put their water cup in line with everyones drinks and make them wait for it. i even mark the cup w/ h20. (i'm such a ****)

4)when some one orders from me at the register, and they are holding out their credit/ starbucks cad/ money like as soon as they walk up, i let them hold it there for as long as i can possibly get away with. i'll like ring up the order, then go get the pastry or coffee, then come back and tender the transaction. or i'll just ask them meaningless questions. the whole time they're holding out their money like " take it ****"

Posted 5 years ago #
wageSlave

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1023652, that is funny stuff, especially #4! I do the same thing. I also have what I call "club decaf". If someone is extra annoying, and especially if they order extra shots, they automatically get decaf. Some jerk comes in right at closing and makes this big deal about how he used to work food service and he knows how obnoxious it is when you are about to close and have everything cleaned up and have to get it dirty again. Then he tells me he works the graveyard shift and he really needs the caffeine to get through the night. After all that he doesn't bother to tip even a little change. Club decaf for you my friend!
I also hate the people who wad their money up in soggy little balls and hand it to you like that, so before I give them their change I spend as much time as possible straightening, flattening and facing the bills. These people are usually on the phone too so I chatter away to them - legendary service!

Posted 5 years ago #
Quique

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Those are great! Who else has some ways of pissing off customers? I love it!

Posted 5 years ago #
EXslavetostarbucks

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I used too love to do this. When a customer asks for there drink to be extra hot I would always tell them that it burns the milk at makes there drink taste like ****. But on the off chance when they would say I know I dont care I would boil the **** out of the milk until it smelt so bad. There used to be a **** who would come in everyday and think she new all there was too know about coffee. She would order an extra extra hot soy latte I would boil it up add some more cold soy then boil it up again. And you know what she would tell people that I made the best soy latte What a moron.

Posted 5 years ago #
wageSlave

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I hate the extra hot people too! I also hate the no foam people, they act like foam is ripping them off, so I fill their cup up to the point where there would be foam and leave that part empty!

Posted 5 years ago #
1023652

Member
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that's f#$%ed up, but it's sooooo funny! i've done that before, and the customer asked me if i could fill it up with milk, and i told her that her latte comes w/ foam, and since she didn't want it, i took it off. then i told her that if she wanted it filled to the top, that she would have to order no foam w/ extra milk. (just to f#&* w/ her). she looked at me like i was an idiot, then i told her to "HAVE A GREAT DAY!" EXslavetostarbuc - there is this **** that comes in every morning that gets 2 venti 210 degree hot chocolates. I make them even though it's against policy, but i don't put a sleeve on them. then when she asks me for sleeves, i act like i have to go "find them". i take like a minute to do that and by that time she's ****. o-well. maybe one day she'll stop ordering her f@#$ing "LAVA CHOCOLATE"

Posted 5 years ago #
wageSlave

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There is a jerk who comes into my store every day (he is on permanent club-decaf). He orders a latte with no foam and whipped cream and he makes this huge stink about it if he thinks there is foam in his cup. He had done things like stand at the counter for 5 minutes tapping his cup saying "it feels too light, I think there is foam in there" and takes several sips, then I have to pour more milk in the cup for him, then tap, tap, tap, more milk, tap, tap, tap, "I said no foam", more milk. He also gets really **** off if I leave room for the whipped cream to fit and still get the lid on. He actually ordered a grande in a venti cup and then proceeded to tell me that if I measured it I would find that the grande comes up to about 1/8" from the top of the venti cup! What am I stupid? Next time I make this ****'s drink I am going to fill it to overflowing and when I put the lid on it it will make a big mess all over him. Also my favorite trick is if you line up the drinking hole in the lid with the seam on the cup you have yourself a dribble cup!

Posted 5 years ago #
largedoubledouble

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These are my favourite:

1. When a customer in drive through asks you to throw out their garbage for them say "sure, no problem" then before you give them their drink hand them a piece of your garbage, like a straw wrapper or something

2. When a know it all snobby customer orders a drink with a million modifiers and tries to say it as fast as they can, read the order back even faster and in the proper order

3. When someone asks you what drink has the least amount of calories say water

4. When someone asks for extra extra extra caramel put as much on as you can so its just disgusting

5. When a customer asks to modify their drink after they already order and after you've made the drink say "sure, just give me one minute" and then remark their cup and put it at the end of the line

6. When a customer orders a hot drink but really wants a cold drink and they complain, make them pay twice

7. When someone orders light ice because they want more drink, dont fill the cup up all the way and when they complain say "you asked for light ice"

Posted 5 years ago #
tehrealjim

Member
Internets:178

i used to do this before i quit....

"can i get a [insert crap drink here]!"

wait till i get the cup and read it out aloud, and make a nasty "Uhh-ek" (kinda like your trying to vomit) sound. and mutter "silly peoples drink"

next time they order a normal drink!

oh yea, the best as someone said before. take as long as possibily can on everything from ordering to calling out the drink to ensuring you ask every possible question, esp counting out their change super slow - of course when its busy.

and walking away from the till at anychance, when there is a big que! esp if your the only one with a till!

Posted 5 years ago #
coffeewench

Member
Internets:9

wow guys, way to fcuk your partners over, wonder if thats the reason uk has so many food poisoning deaths. i can definitely agree with a lot of those especially the cell phone jackholes. as for taking trash in the dt, just smile and tell them so sorry the health dpt won't let us take your trash and it's true too. also calling them sweetie in the same tone you would use to say b***h works pretty well. they know what you mean but can't make a scene cus you just look like a real sweetheart calling them sweetie and all

Posted 5 years ago #
EXslavetostarbucks

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coffeewench

YOU MAKE NO SENSE AT ALL

Posted 5 years ago #
tehrealjim

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^thought it was just me that thought that. =D

Posted 5 years ago #
coffeewench

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no need to yell at me jackhole, what part isn't clear the part where i would strangle a **** working on my shift screwing me over by dragging his **** just to get back at a customer or the part where fake sweetness pisses off the bitches who's only job is to pop out kids and work out madly before they are replaced by the next trophy wife??

Posted 5 years ago #
parrotheadkrm

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So much anger! Seems to have struck a nerve there?

Posted 5 years ago #
tehrealjim

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god bless the internet, i understand where hes/shes coming from though

Posted 5 years ago #
Freakshow

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love this ---so glad that other people do similar things to annoy the bad customers....at my store we call those people who come in late Snippers - often we will turn the lights down/off so people will drive by and think that we are closed...the "decaf club" what a great name. Recently I had a customer come in and ask if the pumpkin spice and mocha came in sugar free.....yes he did. I think told him how many calories were in each (pumpkin close to 50 cal and mocha 25 cal). Then I told him how many pumps of this crap we put in the drinks. He then said can I get Tall (6 pumps of crap - 3 pumpkin and 3 mocha) of course then asked for Nonfat milk because that was less calories....dude there is more sugar in that drink than there is coffee.....It never ceases to amaze me - I love the answer of water for the least caloric drink - going to use it - I have said coffee with no room and no sugar.....got to love it!!!!!

Posted 5 years ago #
tehrealjim

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plain coffee is nice. non of that crap added, esp syrups! drink a nice espresso or plain black!

Posted 5 years ago #
parrotheadkrm

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tehrealjim, amen brother! (or sister???) I couldn't agree more. I love going into a coffee shop, or god forbid a Starbucks (not the same thing) and ordering a "coffee, black" they look at you like "do we have that?" and try and talk you into all this other **** they have, or want to put in it, I just want a friggin coffee, why can't the just except that???

Posted 5 years ago #
EXslavetostarbucks

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coffeewench

give it up YOU STILL MAKE NO SENSE. Seriously what are you going on about you must be working at starbucks purely for the benefits so you can get your meds for the voices you hear in your head.

Posted 5 years ago #
tehrealjim

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n.b. tehrealjim = the real jim. so you can just say jim! =D

dont get people who order loads of stuff packed into a drink, its not a cocktail, its coffee. you'd never get sugar free vanilla decaf tea. *shakes head*

Posted 5 years ago #
superstarprincess5413

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So let me tell you what we do:

Don't you hate those customers that point that the pastry case and say "I want that" without actually reading what the hell "that" is???
Well I'll just hover my hand over every pastry in the case and save the one that they actually want for last. After a while they'll just read the name off like "Look, I just want the Marble Loaf" Lol.

We work in the hospital (Still Corporate) and we get a lot of heart patients that order decaf. But you know... we hold your life in our hands MUAHAHAHAH. Lol. Never actually did that... but it has been a thought.

Also, it's Eggnog Latte season, and we get the jackasses that order nonfat Eggnog lattes. Nope. You get all eggnog lol. You don't even get 2%. What type of an **** would order that nonfat???? It's like Chantico lol.

Everytime someone orders a Frappucino, one of my co-workers calls it as Death. Like Tall Mocha Death! And the customers looks so baffled, like what?

Another one about the pastry case: Whenever a customer says they want their pastries wrapped separately, we wrap them individually in the wax paper and put them in the same bag anyway. They can't say we didn't listen.

We too have Club decaf. It's really fun to do to the doctors who have to be up for their 5 doubles they have scheduled. Don't be such a ****.

Also we hide the straws and make all the customers get the straws from the condo. Don't order so many flippin Frappucinos.

Posted 5 years ago #
tehrealjim

Member
Internets:178

ahaha, nice. i used to smerk and mutter..."yea right, thats really gonna work" to the skinny drinks. tastes like crap anyway. faltmate of mine bought low fat pressurised cream the other day.. tastes like monkey.

keep up the good work!

Posted 5 years ago #
Starclux

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That's hilarious! xD I never knew there were so many interesting ways to **** of customers. I really have to try those next time I work! xD [which is monday, unfortunately...]

Posted 5 years ago #
beancounter

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Mocha Death! I like that! Now, I have nothing against customers with legitimate dietary restrictions who like to enjoy a specialty drink now and again, the only way they can (decaf, low fat, or sugar free). What I do hate is the skinny little yuppie pups who order a "fat-free, sugar-free, decaf" something in that oh-so-superior, I am sooo health-conscious tone, watch like a hawk while you make it and then ask if you're sure you used skim milk, decaf espresso, and sugar-free syrup. For them, I refer to the drink as a "Why bother?" (loudly) and let them think about it...

Posted 5 years ago #
sbuxhater

Member
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LMAO! club decaf reigns supreme where i work as well. i get a small sense of satisfaction in thinking that the unwashed, uneducated, inbred moron that ordered this modifier drink from hell just paid out $5+ for a venti cup of NOTHING! ha ha ha.

mocah death works ... however the appreviation is "mf" and ummm in the real world "mf" is the abbreviation for motherf*****r. how appropiate with the some of the a**holes that order that stuff. when i first started with sbux over 4 yrs ago i discovered that some barista is the genius behind frappicino. i liked to have died. the first thought i had after making a few hundred of those nasty concoctions (as well as cleaning up the foul smelling sure shot machine) was i would so like to meet said barista and shove his a** in the blender with some ice and frapiccino mix a little mocha a little caramel a little CBB some strawberry and all the other goodies and blend it all into frappicino. the stuff is disgusting goop in a cup. nothing but vomit material.

Posted 5 years ago #
random

Member
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I am a customer. I cannot believe how judgemental thes workers are about thier customers.. May I tell you you are too judgemental for your own good.. Aaaah, Duuuhhh. Starbucks was created to offer like a bazzilion choices to it's customers, hence why are you complaining about how people arder their drinks! So what if someone orders a NF SF drink! We may be really enjoying that 150 calorie treat. It is a treat, and it is why we love Starbucks.. for the choices they offer. I do agree though, that cusomers should be considerate when ordering, as well, as the barista's too, should be considerate. What is up with all this bashing. Again, grow up, and welcome to the real world of customer service. I find the hundreds of combinations Starbuck's has to offer a little confusing myself. Maybe it's just a bit confusing to the workers why we order what we do...but if you sold just plain black coffee, thats's all we would order.. yadda yadda yadda.

Posted 5 years ago #
EXslavetostarbucks

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random

Its not the way people order there drinks. Its having to deal with customers who are rude and think that because I work at Starbucks I am obviously a moron who barely scraped by High school. I have read your other post and you are right you probably wouldnt make it as a barista. And yes we all know YOU ARE A CUSTOMER OF STARBUCKS YOU DONT HAVE TO PUT AT THE BEGINING OF EVERY POST we bow down to you for wasting your money on a crap product.

Posted 5 years ago #
tehrealjim

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Internets:178

love customers that **** saying, grow up. this whole site is designed so people can express themselves about this mickeymouse coffee shop. used to moan about work in the pub after... but thats another story. how about we just our own little place in this big big world to just **** about starbucks? its not harming you or your pet dog is it? why dont you grow up and smell the coffee... is it sugar free? is it decaf? or is it just ****...

Posted 5 years ago #
iliketocomplain

Member
Internets:3

i don't necessarily hate starbucks, but i hate customers, not just starbucks customers, but all customers in general. or maybe i just hate people. thats probably it.

specifically, i hate people who lean over the handoff, watch you make the drink, and as soon as you cap it off and call it out, they take off the lid and demand a centimeter more milk, or the teensiest bit more whipped cream, or heaven forbid..."I ASKED FOR NO FOAM!!" as if it even makes a difference at all!!

pleaseee post more ways to subtly **** off customers; i enjoy them immensely and need all the help i can get to maintain my sanity while working my measly 12 hours a week, despite completely open availability. *ahem*

Posted 5 years ago #

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